Spirited

Chapter Two

I don't remember bandaging up the cuts, or even going to bed. But I do remember crying softly. I remember the talk about the therapist. But I feel terrible. I know I don't belong in this house hold. But I do know that this is not who I am. When I wake it's 8:16. I decide to get dressed and go for a walk. To where? Don't know.
When I walk out of my room my mom stands there. Uh-oh. They are going to tell me about the therapy now. I sigh out loud. I put down the backpack I was wearing.
"Your father and I are going to be out all day. I wanted to give you these visa gift cards. There's a lot of money on each of them. Go to the mall. Get something nice. I see your wearing something other than leather for once." My mom was correct. I had put on a dark blue T-shirt and blue jeans and my hair down.
"Um, thanks mom. For the complement and the gift cards." I took the cards and put them in my back pocket.
"Hey you've got your learners permit so you can drive for a while today." mom reminds.
"That's true. Thanks again." I say. I give mom a hug and a smile.
"You're welcome. Make sure to be home by 7:30 that's when dinner is." mom says.
"Ok, bye." I say.
"Bye!"

I drove to the mall in fifteen minutes. Parking was easy because nobody was there. Except for a few cars. I walk in the mall and wonder until I find something interesting or good looking. The first store I walked into was called American Eagle Outfitters.
"Hi, I'm Elizabeth! How can I help you today?" asked Elizabeth. One word. Perky. Elizabeth has strawberry blonde hair that's in a pixi cut.
"Can you help me with finding clothes that will look good on me?" I ask, quietly.
"Well that's partially my job. Hmm, maybe some washed out jeans, crop tops, sweaters, shorts, and really soft T-Shirts. Go into the dressing room and wait in the first open stall. I'll bring you clothes to try out!" Elizabeth squeals. I nod and walk into the first stall. I wait about five minutes before Elizabeth comes in with racks of clothes. "Here, these should fit and look amazing. I put them all into outfits so you know what to try with what! Have fun!"

    I bought 175$ worth of clothing from that store. I stayed in that store for like an hour and thirty minutes. I took a seat on a bench by a fountain. I close my eyes and I lay back on the back rest.
   "Um, excuse me? Can I sit here?" says a masculine voice. I open my eyes and see a teenager with brown hair, fair skin, and blue eyes.
    "Uh sure." I answer.
    "I feel like I've seen you before. Does your name happen to be December Mathews?" he says.
    "That's me, who are you?" I reply.
   "Peter Royce. I go to your school, Woodside High School. You were always quiet, but you have a lot of friends." Peter says. I could see the question coming to his mouth.
   "It's just how I am. I don't preferably like talking. I just prefer to listen." I explain. The question look goes away and he sits in silence for a few moments.
"I don't think that's the reason. You weren't like that a few years ago. You were always happy and talking. Now your silent. I feel as if you've changed too much." he explains.
Dang! I think to myself. I run my fingers through my hair, and sigh loudly.
"I may be able to help if you tell me what's going on." he suggests. I laugh out loud.
"Look, I know that you think you can help, but I'm not what you think. A) you and I just met. And b) I'm a mess. You don't want to know me at all. I'm a terrible person." I exclaim.
   "I know you. You aren't a terrible person," he started. "Look, my family has been thinking about meeting up with your family later this month, but if you feel like your getting downer than usual come to my house." Peter takes out a piece of paper and a pen and started writing his address. When he was finished, he handed me the piece of paper. It read:
'73 Mount. Vernon Ln'
  "Thank you." I say politely and put the paper in my pocket.
   "No prob." Peter smiled and I returned the smile. I noticed that his eyes sparkled and his hair shinned. I wondered, then and there, if he actually could help at all. He seemed pretty sympathetic. I've never met anyone like him. Could he help, was the only thought in my head. I want him to help me, but I don't know how he could.
   "Have you dealt with depression yourself?" I ask, after a minute.
   "I'll tell you if you really need the help." Peter says, mischievously. I smirk.

    The clock turns 6:59  as I pull up in the driveway. I sigh out loud... again. I had spent the majority of the money mom had given me, but there was still quite a bit of money left on the last card. I recall being given about 4 other cards. I grab the bajillion bags of clothes that I got and open the car door. I kick the door shut with my heel and walk towards the house. When I was at the mall, I had spent quite a bit of time with Peter, talking about who knows what. I was silent most of the time but I did talk and laugh at what he said. I hadn't felt that free in so long. I'm about to ring the doorbell, when Ariana and Willow open the door for me.
    "We saw you walking up the driveway and decided to help you with your bags!" Willow explains, with a smile.
    "Thanks, but you know you didn't have too." I say, as I give Willow the really light bags.
    "We know, we just knew your hands were going to be really full." Ariana states. I nod at her comment and give her two bags.  Willow moves out of the way so I can get I the house. They trail behind me, after they close the door, following me too my room. The door is still open from this morning. I walk in and throw my bags on my bed and plop myself onto my bed. Ariana and Willow put the bags on my bed and leave.
     After a while I left my room and went to the kitchen to help my mom with dinner. When I walk in a smile spreads across her face and her arms stretch out in front of her. I walked to her and wrapped my arms around her slender body.
    "How was your day?" she asked. I thought about telling her everything, but I had this sudden feeling like it didn't matter. The same feeling I have everyday around my siblings.
    "It was fine," I say without enthusiasm. I pull away from her. I take the gift card out of my pocket and give it back to her. "There's still some money on it." Mom cocks her head at me but then she takes the card and continues serving dinner.
    I bring out the plates after all of the food is served. Everyone sits at the table anticipating the meal. I bring out the first four plates. I hand them to, dad, Liam, Shawn, and Brandon. After I serve them I sit down at my seat. My mom comes out a few seconds after I sit with the other five plates. She hands me mine first, then Willow and Ariana, next Alexis, and lastly herself. All of my siblings burst into conversation and my parents would but in every time they had said something inappropriate. I cut my meat and accidentally cut myself. I could feel a scream coming up to my throat, but I just put the knife down and apply pressure to the wound with my napkin. Tears start collecting in my eyes. The pain reminds me of every time I've cut myself. I swallow them back and act as if nothing happened. Instead of eating my meat I eat the salad with my left hand, which is very hard for a righty.
    Dinner was coming to an end. I started clearing the plates.
    "December, your father and I will do it tonight." mom says. I nod and leave my plate there. I go to my room and unpack all of the clothes I had received that day. I closed the door. My finger is still numb. I don't know why I haven't stopped the bleeding. I should do something about it. I want to do something about it. But I don't. And I don't know why.
    I hear a knock on the door and I go to open it. And when I do, my parents are outside. Uh-oh.
    "De, we need to talk." dad states. I let them in my room. I sit on my bed, while they stand by the door.
    "December, your father and I are very worried about you. You are very quiet, you don't smile, or laugh often. You're not who you used to be. Your father and I want to know why you constantly have bandages on your arm and why you aren't like how you were a year or two ago. What's wrong?" I can hear her choke on her own words. I don't know how to answer her. I don't want to admit it to myself that I'm different or that I've changed. But I don't want to admit everything that I was before this.
    "This is the real me. I'm not different. I've simply changed. I'm sorry I'm not the person you want me to be. I'm sorry that you think I've changed dramatically. Your my parents and your supposed to support all of your kids," I could feel heat rising to my ears. "Dad when was the last time you told me that you loved me, huh? When was the last time you heard all of my brothers and sisters tell me that they love me? You want to know why I've changed. Because if I'm silent know one will care if I'm gone or if I'm even loved. This is your fault. You guys never noticed what I was going through. Parents should know. PARENTS ALWAYS KNOW AND YOU DIDNT, WHY? Huh?" I yell.
    I see mom collecting tears in her eyes. I see dads expression become angry.
   "We would have liked to know this De..."
   "Don't call me that!" I say, harshly. Mom let lose and tears streamed down her face.
   "December, from now on we've decided to put you in therapy so you are more open to us." dad says plainly. I see my emergency backpack right by the door. I run towards the door reaching for the backpack, but my dad knew I was going to do that. He grabbed me by the waist and I scream.
   "LET ME GO!" I scream. Hot tears are streaming down my cheeks. "I DONT WANT TO BE HERE ANY MORE, LET ME GO!" I scream louder. He squeezed harder. I scream more, until I feel a piercing feeling go into me neck. My vision goes black and everything is quiet.