Soulmate Watch

Riley Quinn

3 minutes left.

He had been checking the clock on his left wrist hundreds of times during the last couple of weeks. He knew that it was starting to become a nervous habit but he simply couldn't help it. Every single time he forced himself not to look he felt panic creep upon his body and cold sweat running up his spine. It was tedious. His arm twitched and he automatically checked the timer again.

2 minutes 30 seconds left.

He simply couldn't wait anymore. And who could blame him, really? He'd waited 28 years for the moment that was about to come. Well, 28 years, 137 days, 55 minutes and 6 seconds to be precise. He did his math - more than once actually. Bloody 28 years! He didn't know what made him deserve to wait that long for his supposedly better half. Maybe it was Karma. Well, he'd sure waited long enough.

2 minutes.

It had been such a nuisance to watch all his friends and even his little sister Judith (who was almost ten years his junior) getting together with their oh-so-perfect partners. Not one of them had been older than 19 when their time was up. He couldn't bare their lingering looks, the not-so-subtle snogs in the cabinet and the absolutely sickening behaviour of those in love. But the worst of all were their smug comments that he'd know what it was like as soon as he found "his girl". Well, he'd sure be wiser in about two minutes.

He tried to picture what she'd look like. Would she be tall or short? Thick or thin? Blonde or brunette? Young or old? The answer was lost to him. He never had a certain type of woman that he'd preferred the most. He looked around the little café for any sign of somebody standing out to him. But there was no woman around that caught his attention or looked in the least as agitated and nervous as he felt in this moment. There was a handsome read-head standing at the counter who ordered a frappuccino but she looked more stressed out than nervous.

Maybe she wouldn't come. That was his worst kind of nightmare. Not meeting her. Being alone, all on his own forever. Even though sometimes he thought that it might be for the best. He managed to be alone for so long that occasionally he (almost) convinced himself that he was happy with the way things were. And then his Auntie Tilda would make a harsh remark about him NOT being married and having children and that it was about time that he'd meet his soulmate otherwise he'd be getting too old, ugly and fat and that the poor girl who would be so unfortunate to get stuck with him would regret the day she set eyes on him. Needless to say that almost every encounter with Auntie Tilda ended with him snapping at her, saying things he immediately regretted, rushing out of the room, followed by eating old pizza and too much of that delicious vanilla flavoured ice-cream he hid in the freezer for emergencies. God, was he happy that she'd finally have to shut up after this day. Or maybe not. Auntie Tilda wouldn't be able to shut her big fat mouth even if he'd glued her thin, pertly lips together.

The anticipation was slowly driving him insane. He checked the watch again.

1 minute left.

Finally there would be hugs and kisses, cuddling and holding hands. He deserve it. And shagging. Hopefully lots and lots of wild, untamed, shameless shagging. He shook his head, silently laughing to himself. He knew that it was indecent that his mind was in the gutter less than one minute before the most important moment of his life. Even though it was kind of typical that he thought about sex before meeting the person he was supposed to spend his whole life with. It was kind of hard to get the long suppressed nasty thoughts out of your system when you were forced to stay a virgin for almost three decades! Decency be fucked! It wasn't even like he did not try to get release. When he was 23 he had enough of it all and went into a bar to hook up with a girl but the task seemed to be more of a challenge than he first had anticipated. Apparently nobody went into a bar to get laid these days. All those girls with a soulmate would just shush him away and all the girls without one were eager to save themselves for their better half. Decency be damned indeed!

He checked his watch again.

Only 10 seconds left.

Where the hell was she?

"Excuse me?"

He turned around and looked into the bluest of eyes he'd ever seen on a surprisingly not-so-feminine face.

"Hi, I'm John."

He heard the traitorous beeping of his watch telling him that the long wait was finally over. The alarm coming in perfect synchronisation from his and John's watch alike.

Well, Auntie Tilda would surely be in for a BIG surprise tonight.

(Source: )