Burning Ties

Chapter Thirty

Iris POV

Carmine is scared, that much is obvious from the way he grips his seat as I drive. I'd like to think that I'm a fairly decent driver, but, my experience is limited because Antione had taught me very briefly just in case he needed me to drive.

As sick as it is, I think he truly did care for me in his own twisted way, that is.

When I'd decided to rebel and break out of the house, Carmine refused to let me leave alone, so, unfortunately for him, I refused to let him drive. This was my act of rebellion, not his.

"You should have stayed at home, Car." I sigh, looking at him from the corner of my eye.

Truth be told, I dont blame him for being scared. I don't trust my driving skills either.

"I couldn't let you leave alone." He says, closing his eyes.

"You could have. I would have been fine on my own."

"Maybe you would have. But just because you can be on your own doesnt meant you should be." Carmine answers, his voice more serious than I've ever heard it be before.

"Wow, that was deep. Still, I didnt need you with me, you would have been safer at home." I retort, feeling somewhat guilty as he frowns in response.

Am I being mean? I really don't mean to be, I'm still trying to get used to speaking to other people. I dont think anyone realizes how difficult its been for me to go from only knowing three people my whole life to suddenly having a whole load of people to be talking to.

"Iris, you let me worry about safety, okay? As long as we're together, I wont let anything happen to you." Carmine replies eventually.

"Um, okay, I guess." I shrug, not really knowing how to respond.

How do I tell my brother that I dont think I have a chance of ever being safe? That even though he might try as hard as he can, it may never be enough?

I'm sure he's already aware that there is no safety for us, not with the lives we were born into.

"So, where are we going?" Carmine asks, turning to look at me despite his fear of me driving.

"Honestly, I dont know. I didnt really plan ahead." I shrug, feeling stupid now that he mentions a destination. Should I have planned this out more? Probably, is that going to stop me? Definitely not. I know my anger isn't unjustified, and, well, that'll just have to be what motivates me to keep driving.

"Well, what do you think will piss Leandro off the most?"

"I don't know, I mean, maybe we could do something he wouldn't normally approve of? We should've taken Luka with us, he knows how to annoy Leandro the best." I sigh.

Carmine thinks for a moment, slumping into his seat before he suddenly straightens again.

"How about instead of pissing Leandro off, we do it to Slater?" He suggests, smiling widely.

I allow myself to consider it as an option before agreeing, after all, Leandro wasn't really to blame for it all, and while Slater wasn't necessarily responsible either, he did play a bigger role than my brother.

"I like that, actually. He wouldn't want me going to a club or something, probably, since I'm apparently his future wife."

"That sounds like a good idea. How far are we willing to go?"

"As far as I can, Carmine. I'm tired of not having any control of my own life." I purse my lips, willing myself to focus on the road instead of how I feel.

"Well, then, how does a strip club sound?"

My head whips to the side to look at Carmine in surprise, but he just laughs, not even concerned about the fact that I happen to still be driving and I'm looking at him instead of the road.

"What, Iris? You wanted a way to piss your fiancé off, and I'm giving you the best way to do it." He laughs, before his eyes widen and he sobers up. "Look at the road, woman! You're going to kill us both."

At his panic, I find myself smiling. Well, at least that hasn't changed. Yet.

"I mean, I dont know how comfortable I'd be, but the strip club doesnt sound like a terrible idea." I reply.

"Well then, little sister, it seems that we're going on a little adventure." And for some inexplicable reason, instead of feeling any sort of joy at the thought of experiencing something new, a sense of dread overcomes me.

I feel like I should just turn and go back home, stupid sense of pride be damned, but, instead I smile and continue driving toward my own demise.

Carmine seems to be okay, so I pretend that I feel like nothing - besides my apparent engagement- is wrong.

He gives me directions, leading me out of many wrong turns, and yet, somehow, we end up lost anyway.

"You know, dad used to do the same thing. We'd have a GPS on, and still, he'd make the wrong turns because he was too stubborn to listen to the damned thing. You got that from him." Carmine laughs, and for the first time in a long time, my heart doesnt ache at the thought of the father I'd lost.

I'm glad for the time I got to spend with him, even if it was short-lived.

"Really? He was also directionally challenged? Because I swear I still get lost in the house." I grin at my brother who actually does a double take. Wow, I didn't know people actually did that in real life.

"Yeah, dad couldn't tell left from right to save his life."

We share a laugh before we're enveloped by silence, but its not the type that I usually itch to fill with useless chatter, instead, it's the comfortable type of silence.

Eventually, we do manage to reach the strip club, and when Carmine leads me inside and tells the bouncer our last name instead of handing him fake ID's, the bouncer lets us in without a second thought.

I should be happy to finally be doing something that hasn't been ordered or chosen for me, instead, I can't help the impending sense of doom that overcomes me.

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Hi baeeessss, so, for the first time in a long while, I've done two updates consistently without at least a month in between them. Are yall proud of me?

I feel like I'm lowkey losing my mind sometimes.

Anyway, I'll keep this one short, I have nothing much to say except that living without wifi for two days was HARD. I dont know how I ever survived without it.

Goodbye now.
Love yallll

Oh, also, has my writing improved or deteriorated since I started? I was looking at some of the things i wrote when I was younger, and I was so talented. I dont know where I lost my passion along the line. Or my talent. Lols.