I don't know what to do anymore. I'm becoming more and more stressed, depressed, and anxious. I don't know how to make things stop.
I love this kid more than I've ever loved anyone. He can make me happy when I'm at my lowest point, however, sometimes he's the reason I'm at rock bottom.
Allow me to explain, this kid is Him. He is handsome, he has the most perfect smile that any human has ever been blessed to see. He is beyond smart. He is the definition of confidence, he walks with this stride, with his head held high, and his shoulders back. He is tall and don't even get me started on his eyes. His eyes are like looking into a beautiful forest of shades of green and blue. The way he crinkles his nose when he laughs, the way his eyes shine when things go his way. The way his proud stride can turn into a disappointed drag, the way that his eyes fog over when he tries not to cry, the way he held onto me when he did, the way he was vulnerable with me when his heart was broken into a million pieces, the way his voice cracked when he said he never wanted to lose me, the way he just walked away like I never meant anything.
That is who he is. He is everything. He is what everyone wants. He is what I had, what I have, I should say, and I wouldn't ask for anything else.
I guess I'm to blame for all the problems that we've had in the past. I guess I'm to blame for, really, all of our problems including the present. I suppose that I'm just incapable of being everything he needs.
I don't know what to do anymore.
YOU ARE READING
Hazy Nights
Teen FictionSpring had lost everything she had ever worked for. These are her daily entries from her journal that she had begun writing inside of in early January of 2015 - September 2015.
