Shot Through The Heart

Alive..

I tie the rope to the fan and put the chair under. I muster up what little strength I have in my body and start to climb. I tie the rope around my neck smiling. Thinking of what pleasure I'll give to myself by dying here. This very night. Fuck Jahnisha Fuck Lauren and Fuck Dakota. Fuck everyone. For making me go through bullshit..and for what...for what..
It plays in the background..of my head and of the room. The song..when it ends..the last time I'll ever hear it..I kick the chair. I kick it and choke.I don't want air..but I still gasp for it. This is what fish feel like out of water probably. Blood all over the floor. The song playing once again...minutes after..I see black..all black..
I was sent to the hospital and after I fell unconscious for days. I never did die the night I wanted to. Every time...every time I wanna end my life. I come so close. And it all goes to shit.
So here i am..heartbroken and scarred. May my hateful and heartbroken soul rest in peace some day..
For Karen
-Drewie..'Alive