Dear Lawyer | Jikook ff

20 - Visiting the dead (ii)

While the distinguished Lawyer Jeon deeply questioned the meaning of life, someone suddenly asked in a low voice, "Hwan, what's the matter?"

Jimin looked over upon hearing this, only to see that the flowers Hwan had held were scattered all over the ground. He was crouched down, at first tapping his hands against his head saying "head hurts", then suddenly beginning to knock his head against the gravestone. He hunched over, endlessly chanting in a low voice, "I'm not, I didn't, I'm not, I didn't..."

Hwan's condition flared too abruptly. As this was the interns' first time encountering this, they were all thrown aback, standing frozen to the spot, unsure what to do or how to move.

But his friends responded swiftly. This evidently wasn't the first time that such a situation arose.

A few went to hold him, a few pulled him, and one even shielded Hwan's head, firmly separating him from the gravestone. However, Hwan completely lacked awareness of any of this. He was still fully immersed in his own world, continuing to knock his head against that person's hand. The mantra spilling from his mouth never stopped for a single moment.

"Hey, it's fine. It's fine now." Laura kept patting Hwan's back as she reassured, "It's all in the past. It's all fine now, it has nothing to do with you."

Luke and the others were utterly lost. "What's the situation? Did... something happen?"

"Ah," Freida quietly murmured. "I just thought of it. I heard that there was a senior from many batches before ours, who had developed a mental health condition after taking on a case..."

Back when it happened, practically everyone in the profession had heard about Kim Hwan's situation. After all, before that case, he was an outstanding young lawyer with not a small amount of fame.

The people in their circle had divergent opinions regarding this. Some felt that his dedication to his work was commendable. He had a gentle disposition, was a good friend, and was a rival deserving of respect.

Others conversely felt that he 'fell too deeply into the narrative'. That he was too sentimental, bearing the same deep sympathy for both the accused and the victim in the case, and was actually unsuited for this line of work.

Truth be told, there were already people who had critiqued this in his schooling days. Back then, Hwan had just enrolled and still carried the greenness of inexperience and the lack of direction unique to students. He had approached Jimin for a chat about this, once.

At that time, Jimin's gaze rested quietly on him. He said, "This is actually an invaluable quality..."

"You are very kind. If there comes a day that you, because of your kind nature, get into a conflict with someone, or if it brings you any trouble; it will never be the fault of your kindness."

"But, professor..." Hwan, then, was seated on the soft lounge sofa in the dean's office. He took a reserved sip of the black tea that Jimin had poured for him before saying, "You've seen that sentence before, right? The one printed on the title page of Beyond the Law. It said that most of the time, those in this line are making deals with the devils in hell."

"Of course I've seen it. But this doesn't mean that you have to turn yourself into a devil." Jimin arched an eyebrow, placing the teaspoon on the saucer. "You need to be familiar with their ways of thinking, but you don't have to become them. After a long time, you may not appear to be that good of a person. But you know. You'll never be them."

It was easy for young men to get frustrated, but it was also easy for them to bounce back.

And at that time, Hwan looked relieved of a heavy burden. He silently sipped his black tea, eventually asking, "So do you think I'm suitable for this profession?"