College Ruled

forty

40
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"LOOK," LEX SAYS as soon as we climb into his Jeep, "I'm not having sex with you."

         "Thank god," I mumble. Letting go—doing something, anything—had felt like a wonderful idea five minutes ago, but now, with the cold sobering the lingering buzz under my skin and the memory of Grayson's face tucked into my head, the last thing I want to do is pretend like I'm in any mood other than shit. "Right back at you."

       "Ouch."

       "I just mean—"

       "I'm fucking with you." Lex grins, turning the key into the ignition and blasting the heat. "I don't wanna read too much into whatever happened back there, but I'd be an asshole if I tried anything with you tonight. Plus, as much as I do love fucking with Gray, I do not want to die."

       I roll my eyes. "He wouldn't kill you."

      "No?" He chuckles. "You didn't see his face."

       And thank God for that. Because the few glances I had been blessed with had been plenty, almost enough to shred my remaining resolve, abandon Lex to his hovering brother, and drag Grayson out of there to do whatever dirty things he's probably imagining I'm doing with Lex.

       Because fuck—he looked good. Not that he ever looked not good.

Annoying bastard.

       "So, you're not with Gray," guesses Lex. He turns to look at me in his seat, dragging a hand over his buzzed head. "But you were."

       "Nope." I blow out a breath. "Not really. I don't know." I don't know. "It wasn't..."

        "Wasn't..."

        "Real," I admit begrudgingly. I slump deeper into my seat, the wrinkled seat cover shifting against my back, and shrug. "It wasn't even real."

        I don't know why I'm talking to him about this. I don't know why I'm talking to anyone about this, but the moment the word is out, I can't stop myself. My mouth is spewing nonsense for the second time tonight, and I am a mess.

       "It was his idea. All of it. From beginning to middle to... end. And I—" I scoff. "We just wanted to fuck with our exes, and I didn't even want to agree to it. Not really. Not—I mean, I didn't even like the guy. He was so... he is so... You know?" I roughly shove a strand of hair behind my ear, words battering against my teeth too quick to get them all out. I'm making absolutely no sense, and I know that—Lex knows that—but what can I do? What can I do except—

       "He's such an ass."

       Lex's lip twitches. "Gray?"

       I nod. Then sigh. "He's not."

       The lip twitch has now fully morphed into a half-smirk. "He's not?"

       "No." I narrow my eyes at him, accusing, as if Lex somehow has the inane ability to pull the confession from my mouth. "He's really, really not. But..."