Anxiety

Secure

Kaat looks out the car window and stays quiet for a while. She looks drowsy, Anytime she'd be asleep.

We sit in this silence; not an awkward silence, not a scared silence, not even a heavily layered silence of anxiousness, But a silence of peacefulness.

Could it be the soft humming of the car? Or the Alt-J record I put in this morning ringing softly through the radio? Whatever it is that doesn't make us uncomfortable with complete silence, I'm thankful for. I glance a little over to Kaat once again, she seems asleep and I don't have the heart to wake her up with questions.

Her chest slowly rises up and down as she sleeps in what seems to be tranquility. I wonder when the last time was when she could sleep that way? Her guard not completely up on the woods uncomfortable crunchy grounds.

I continue looking ahead, enjoying the album till we make a stop. She must have felt the car coming to an abrupt stop since she woke up automatically. Yawning, she rubs her eyes and focuses them on me.

"Why did we stop Louis?"

I give her a small smile before speaking.

"You must be hungry so I decided to stop by a filling station and get you a small snack. Or do you prefer we go and eat actual food?"

She stretches and yawns once again before giving me an actual response.

"I could go for lunch... Maccas sounds perfect right now. Haven't had a burger in a long time."

"Well Maccas is not actual food, but it's food." I say.

She giggles before looking out the window once more.

"I've never actually been here, seems strange since I lived in this town for so many years with my mother. She never really lets me go out, besides the usual church and sometimes she'd let me stay at a friends house, that was on rare occasions though."

Poor kid, she hasn't even experienced the world like I have and yet she still had the guts to runaway from what seemed like hell. I on the other hand, can't speak to a class without having a mental breakdown.

"Church? You're religious?"

A sour expression crosses Kaats face.

"No, god no. I couldn't give a single fuck for religion. I find religious people completely close minded. That's my opinion though."

I nod in agreement

"What about you? You into the whole Jesus Christ thing and whatnot?" From the corner of my eyes I can see her looking at me, waiting for my reply.

"Nope, can't say I am. I don't want to outright say I'm an atheist, maybe agnostic? But I can't believe or praise a book written hundreds of years ago. Have you ever read some of the verses in that thing? Horrid what someone could preach but yet not live by, Y'know? Im not all in for the hypocrites who screech "homosexuality is a sin!" While they are okay with divorcing their wives and eating a pound of bacon."

"I see your point, I have the same view. What do you think of, I guess miracles?"

I let out a breath, wanting it to give me a few more seconds to think before replying.

"Well... I'm not sure on that. I mean I guess miracles are a possibility? Though I have some doubts when it comes to religion, I can't outright say it's all bullshit. Like, I believe I've had some miracles happen in my life. Certain unexplainable events occurred throughout my 18 years of living that I can't explain. Maybe they are explainable but I'm just too lazy to overthink them."

She nods, then looks out the window as we remain quiet till we finally get to a Maccas drive-thru window.

We get our food and I park the car so we can eat while in the parking lot.