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unwind with : Rehnuma by Shreya Ghoshal
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I did not remember fastening my seatbelt. I did not remember starting the engine. I only remembered the way my fingers trembled as they curled around the steering wheel, knuckles white, breath irregular, chest rising like something inside me was punching to break free. The world outside the windshield blurred, streetlights stretching into yellow wounds as if my eyes refused to stay still. My heart was beating so violently that it felt like the car itself shook with every thud. And beneath all of it, beneath the panic and the noise and the suffocating air, one thought throbbed like a bruise I could not stop touching. Kabir will take my baby away. He will snatch Bunny from me.
Bunny’s tiny sobs filled the car, soft at first then sharp like needles piercing my ears.
“Maa, Baba. Baba Where?”
He hiccupped, rubbing his wet face with the back of his hand, his curls sticking to his forehead. His voice cracked something inside me so hard I felt my vision blur entirely for a second. I could barely breathe. The word Baba fell inside me like a stone thrown into a fragile glass jar, shattering, echoing, slicing through everything I was trying so desperately to hold together. His face flashed in my mind. His eyes, the shock, the fear, the confusion when the police took him and my throat closed in terror.
I hit the brake too hard at a signal and the car jerked, making Bunny start crying louder.
“Maa, Baba??”
He wailed again, stretching his arms toward the backseat window as if Kabir would magically appear there. My pulse skyrocketed. The red light glowed on my face and I could feel sweat dripping down my spine even though the AC was on full blast.
“Not now Bunny. Please, do not.”
The words choked in my throat. The light turned green but my hands refused to move for a moment. I was paralyzed between wanting to collapse and needing to protect him from everything, every danger, real or imagined especially from the man who once held my entire heart. His sobbing only grew louder.
