Tatlong taon na ang lumipas mula nung maghiwalay kami ni Paolo.
Hindi nasunod yung gusto niya na maging magkaibigan pa rin kami pagkatapos nung nangyari. Hindi ako pumayag. Kahit mahal ko pa siya noon, nawala na yung tiwala ko sa kanya. Ayokong magkaroon ng kaibigan na hindi ko pinagkakatiwalaan.
Paolo tried to reconcile with me for months. He send me text messages, he left me messages on my social medias, he called me a thousand times but I never answer, he even tried to talk to me in person pero lagi ko siyang iniiwasan.
I'm trying to pick up the pieces he shattered. Can't he understand that he's not helping me, rather he's just adding up to the agony and pain.
Pero nagsawa din siya. Narealize din niya na wala akong balak na maging parte pa siya ng buhay ko. He stopped texting and calling. Umiiwas na rin siya pag nagkakasalubong kami sa school.
Nagalit sa kanya yung barkada namin. Gago daw si Paolo. Mula nung nagbreak kami hindi na siya sumama sa mga lakad ng barkada, hindi na rin siya pumupunta sa tambayan. Madalas namin siyang makita kasama ung mga kaibigan ni Abby. Sobrang supportive sakin yung mga kaibigan namin. Tinulungan nila kong makalimutan si Paolo. Nung first two months after ng break-up namin sobrang na depress ako. Hindi na ko makaconcentrate sa pag-aaral ko. Hanggang isang gabi pinagalitan ako ni Mia, yung second bestfriend ko after kay Paolo. Bakit daw ako nagpapakadepress dahil sa isang gagong lalaki. Napapabayaan ko na daw yung pag-aaral ko, graduating pa man din daw ako. Marami siyang sinabing sermon habang umiiyak lang ako sa harap niya.
De javu. Nangyari na to dati eh. Kaso imbes na ako yung sinesermonan, ako yung nanenermon. Buhay nga naman parang life.
After nung gabing yon, nag promise ako na aayusin ko na ang lahat. I tried to move on one step at a time. Sobrang sakit. But then my family and friends was there to guide and help me. There were times that i got depress and i just want to curl up in a ball and block out the world again, but i tried my hardest to be strong.
After college, wala na kong nabalitaan kay Paolo at Abby. In fact wala na kong pakialam kung ano man ang mangyari sa kanilang dalawa. I'm not bitter, i just really don't give a damn.
After ng graduation, nag apply ako sa ilang publishing companies and luckily I got a job in one of them. I'm now a Junior Editor. I'm one of those girls with a blooming career but a zero love life. I'm such a cliché.
I finally moved on pero may mga bagay pa din na nahihirapan akong ibalik. Tulad ng tiwala ko sa pag pasok sa isang romantic relationship. I know it's wrong, but I can't help but to doubt everybody's intention when it comes to my heart.
Whenever a guy try to get romantically close to me, I set him straight right away that I'm not interested and he should find another girl to pay his attention with. They either back off or push harder, and whenever they push harder I just get totally pissed. What's it with male hormones and their ego?!
Except for this one guy.
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I've been a caffeine addict over the years. Kaya madalas, I spend my lunchtime at starbucks sa ground floor ng office building namin. Most of the time I'll order a sandwich and a cup of coffee and get lost with whatever book I'm currently reading. I like those times I spent alone on that café.
Until that one friday afternoon. Puno yung starbucks nung time na yon. I was seating in a two-seater table with my usual sandwich, coffee and book when someone suddenly speak.
"Excuse me miss, can I take this seat? Wala na kasing ibang maupuan."
I said "sure" without taking my eyes away from my book.
