Thickets

The Baptising (early version)

The water is cold and restless,
Everyone's festive, mumbling echoes, and I am stumbling to the stage.
To show my face, to make my case, hoping I'm heard by the one I hate.

I ask, "Sinner, what do you wish to wash away?
Why is it no longer enough to just pray? Won't you stay?
Is it guilt for the palaces of poison words you built, that you think I do not remember,
For if the fire doesn't rage, it can't hurt to touch the ember?
Let me tell you about your matches, about the fires you have started,
Because Lucifer was watching when you struck the box, eager-hearted

There's no sins to leave behind when your wrongdoings were right in your mind
So what will change when you exit the water?
Will you feel lighter willingly leaving the faint shine of your fighting conscience behind? Do you chase that high?
Or do you take this chance to relay the details of your lousy life to the understanding heavenly Father,
And tell him about the wicked neighbours, teachers preaching none the wiser, and all the world has done you wrong?
You didn't need to argue but the fire of the fight was bright and strong, stronger than you.
You talk and talk and sing your song,
Talk and talk and sing your song, only you are true.

...

Your children, chicks on eggshells tragically fearing
Their unimposing mother hen for her temperament.
Her pecking forever changed their bearing,
Because of her wrath led by irritation, temporary discontent.
(If anger makes us human then tell me, what am I?
My flesh and blood is human-like, but feels no rage; it only manages to cry)
If aggravated sin is justified, look Abel in his tearful eyes and tell him he deserved to die.
Your victims, unlike Cain's, are still alive,
But you'll go so far as to meet the Lord, to not have to apologise.

To love your child, that is a given.
Then why deny them that, at all?
Though faces left unstruck, from testimony was deriven:
Pain of the heart, appearing repeating and banal.
And one moment I recall, the words even left your lips
That love and disagreement, could not coexist.
(Is it naive to take such words for truth..? Surely one would apologize if this was misunderstood.)

...

Do you feel shame? Standing on this stage, do you feel shame?
The fact is, you're leaving us behind: your sins, the people you've wounded, the apologies with which you refused to part.
Since you've declared this the last day you'll feel your guilt, we must take our chance while it lasts,
So don't blame us if we scream as you depart.
Please forgive the outcry of our pained and wounded hearts.

Your sins are wrath and antipathy

I'm glad God will forgive you, because I couldn't in his place"