Creepypasta One-Shots

Sexual Offenderman

(Remakes of old chapters coming soon.)

It took a very long time. A long time as in five weeks for Y/n to get Offenderman some therapy. They both sat in the waiting room, Offenderman pouting while doing so as Y/n waited patiently.

"This is stupid," Offenderman grumbled. "I don't need therapy."

Y/n, not looking up from their phone, scoffed lightly. "Trust me, honey," they began. "You do."

Offenderman crossed his arms over his chest, slumping in his chair. He was not happy.

Eventually, a therapist came out with a clipboard. "Sexual Offenderman?" He called out.

Y/n grabbed Offenderman's arm and began to drag him, which he responded with a whine. He kept dragging his feet, trying to make it hard for them to drag him, but they didn't let that stop them. Their grip on his arm tightened as he was dragged into the room the therapist has his sessions in.

Once inside, Y/n made Offenderman sit on the couch as they sat next to him. He was still pouting as he was slumped against the couch. "Why am I even here?" He whined.

"Offender, your brother Slenderman was generous enough to pay for your sessions. Don't make it so he wastes it all on you for no good reason," Y/n replied in a warning tone before facing the therapist, who was now sat in his chair.

"Let us get this session started," the therapist said calmly, now turning to Offenderman. "Do you know why you're here?"

Offenderman scowled and tried to glare at the therapist, but he doesn't have eyes so that wasn't possible. Y/n sighed, knowing that he was being a pill.

"Hypersexuality and being, and I dare to quote, a fucking perverted creep," Y/n responded, not caring if they offend Offenderman.

The therapist, who had almost seen and heard anything and everything from clients, simply nodded his head. "I see, and what would make him be a "fucking perverted creep?" What has he done?" He asked calmly.

Offenderman grumbled something under his breath before he finally managed to speak up. "I might have... done some... bad things to... people," he admitted. "...and animals, and corpses, and mostly women, and perchance objects..."

The therapist only sat there, taking everything in. He wrote something down in his notes. "Hmm... I see," he said before looking up at Offenderman. "And how does doing those things to people, animals and corpses make you feel?"

"Fucking awesome," Offenderman responded without hesitation and confidence, to which he earned a slap to the arm from Y/n. He tried to glare at them, but their glare was more visual and actually there because they had eyes and he didn't.

The therapist wrote something down again. "Now, Offenderman," he began, setting his clipboard on his lap. "What do you think is the cause of this high libido?"

Offenderman paused, not sure how to explain it. He hummed in thought as he thought. Then, he shrugged. "Dunno. Just think everyone and everything is extremely hot," he said bluntly.

Y/n sighed internally. Of course he'd say that. When has he never said that, only God or whatever is above or below will know.

"I see," the therapist began. "So... Offenderman, were you ever touched in your childhood?"

"Nah, I was the one doing the touching," Offenderman said bluntly and proudly. This caused Y/n to facepalm themself.

The therapist hummed before nodding his head. "Alright then," he responded. "Now, Offenderman, what I believe is that this may be related to a traumatic event that happened in your childhood, or if you have been assaulted in such a way in the past. Excessive amount of pornography along with masturbating to said pornography can alter your view on reality and make you think that what you are doing is okay when it really isn't, and it can make you become a pornography addict."

"I don't like where this is going," Offenderman muttered, however his words fall on deaf ears.

"I recommend that you try something else for a change, other than forcing sexual intercourse on someone," the therapist said. "It may not be easy, but you must understand that what you're doing is not acceptable."

Offenderman looked at the therapist as if he was the stupidest person in the room. Y/n looked over at him and gently smacked his shoulder, silently telling him to knock it off. He grumbled before looking back at the therapist. He sighed heavily and dramatically.

"Ugh... To be completely honest with you, I don't think I'm changing anytime soon," Offenderman said bluntly.

"I've heard that phrase many times, and I've seen almost even the worst of society manage to change," the therapist responded, taking his glasses off. "Well, the amount of time we have for this session is over. I look forward to seeing you next week."

Offenderman would've rolled his eyes or give a blink to show how unamused he was, but his lack of eyes made that impossible. He would've whipped his hair as a joke, but his bald ass head can reflect a flashlight and have an airplane mistake it as a runway. So, he just stood up when Y/n got up.

"Thank you for this," Y/n said to the therapist, who only nodded in response.

Y/n grabbed Offenderman's arm and began to drag him off once more. He grunted at them.

"I can walk you know," he said.

"Then you can walk your happy ass to your next therapy session without raping the man?" They asked frankly.

When Offenderman didn't respond, Y/n kept dragging him along with them. "That's what I thought."