Lost in Thought

Chapter 5

Walking through the door, where I expected my apartment to be, I was instead met with something that I can't believe I'm even explaining now: lush jungles as far as the eye can see lay in front of me, huge trees and brush all around me, the sounds of jungle animals filling the air.

It was clear what was going on: I had died. That could be the only explanation for this madness. I'd pulled into traffic in a panic after the events at the bar and a semi had flattened me and my crappy car into a pancake. I'd died and this is what the afterlife was. Some weird jungle continents away where I'd either spend the rest of eternity as a caveman or had been reincarnated only to die at the hands of a tiger or some other vicious animal.

That could be the only explanation to this, right? I pinched my arm and it hurt, but my surroundings remained. Smacking myself a few times, begging no one in particular that I wake up, it all remained the same. I wheeled around, looking for the door I had come through, but it was no longer there. Just more lush greens, sunlight pouring through the trees and sounds that might inhabit any jungle around the globe.

Before I had a chance to really assess what was happening or what the hell to do about it, a thunderous roar from behind me made my only objective very clear: run.

Despite my relatively young age, my physical condition more closely resembled that of a forty-year-old smoker rather than someone who hadn't yet hit thirty. I ran as hard as I could, panting heavily not even a minute later. My whole body was hot, as if I'd spontaneously combust and become The Human Torch with one more minute of running. Sweat began pouring down my head, droplets burning my eyes as they fell. My shin splints, long ago forgotten because I couldn't honestly recall the last time I'd had to run, began to burn with a pain I hadn't experienced before and only through convincing myself of what lay behind me was I able to fight through it.

A moment later, the sound had disappeared and I stopped to catch my breath, which basically equated to me sucking wind with desperation and holding myself up with the support of a nearby tree. Physical fitness wasn't a priority before today and I was cursing myself for not having the foresight to make it one.

Still sucking air, the roar was no longer in the distance; it was right behind me. I turned slowly to see what it was, as that would somehow keep the animal from getting "spooked" and charging me. Sometimes my brain makes little to no sense, but in a situation like this, I honestly couldn't blame it.

When I turned around, what I expected to see wasn't awaiting me. Instead of a lion or a big jungle cat, the roar belonged to something that didn't look real. This thing had the face of a giant, fearsome jungle cat, but its feet were giant talons that were obviously meant for more than scratching all the difficult itches. Its body was hard and muscular, but looked as if it were scaled like that of a reptile. And the wings. Massive, sprawling wings that appeared to have enough power behind them to send me flying for miles with one flap. It let out another massive roar, rows of jagged teeth making their presence known.

Even if my body could run for much longer, I wasn't sure what good it would do. This thing was gargantuan and could surely cover a lot of ground in a moment's notice. Climbing the trees would do little against it, too, considering its powerful wings. If I hadn't really died in the car earlier, I was going to now and it wasn't going to be quick and painless.

Suddenly, a thudding permeated the jungle floor. The creature looked suddenly to its left and before it could react, it was hammered in the side by the head of another giant beast, creating this awful sound that was part gasp, part shrill scream. This new beast, resembling the tank-like body of a rhino, had a long tusk like an elephant but an arching trio of horns on its head. Brush flew into the air as its powerful feet, huge mitts with razor sharp claws, dug into the ground propelling it forward.

My attacker let out a horrendous shriek as it toppled over, stopping suddenly and violently as it collided with a tree. It created a thud so loud, it sounded as if storm clouds were rolling in overhead. The rhino-like creature let out a snort from its tusk and prepared itself for another attack. Standing there frozen by the incredible events playing out in front of me, all I could do was watch as it charged at the lion/bird/whatever-the-hell-that-thing-is. It moved at the last moment, the rhino-like creature hitting the tree so hard that it cracked the trunk of the tree in half, sending it toppling over, shudders rippling through the ground.

The two opponents dug in their heels preparing to continue their battle. The rhino-like creature glanced at me briefly, its eyes telling me to run. I was momentarily paralyzed, partially wondering if this beast was on my side and partially trying to make sense of this completely nonsensical situation. It charged forward to meet its enemy and I decided to heed the advice. I ran again, as hard and fast as my miserable legs could take me.

A few moments later, I came to the opening of a cave. The entrance was massive, intimidating and pitch black. Despite the probability that what lay inside could be somehow more frightening than what I had just encountered, I was drawn inside.

Staying near the wall, I moved slowly, poking my feet in front of me to feel my way so I wouldn't trip and fall into some giant pit full of who-knows-what. With nothing but rocks and dirt below my feet, everything was so far so good.

Suddenly, in the distance of the cave, I could see a faint light flickering. I picked up my pace ever so slightly, still being cautious so that my story wouldn't end with a nasty spill that left my skull oozing its contents all over the place.

The light growing stronger and broader, a shadowy figure began to come into focus. My heart rate began to outmatch my pace and my mind began to race. I hoped that this was a friend, someone who could tell me just what the hell was going on and not another thing just trying to kill me. Next to him was a smaller animal, small for this world, anyway. I can faintly hear the figure talking to the animal, though I have no idea what is being said.

As I drew close enough to begin to make out features, my jaw dropped. The shadowy figure was none other than "Ron". Even crazier than that was the fact that his animal companion was none other than my dog, Hulk. At that moment, I'm fairly certain my brain broke. No thoughts, no concerns, no nothing. Just a blank slate between my ears. They must have heard the thud of my jaw hitting the ground, because they both turned to face me, "Ron" smiling that grin once again.

"Welcome to Avalon," he said. "We've been waiting for you. Come," he said, waving me over. "Join us. We have much to talk about."

My brain must really have broken because I couldn't move. I couldn't talk, I couldn't flinch and if it weren't for the fact that it was pretty much automatic, I'm pretty sure I would have stopped breathing, too. When my brain came back online, I was convinced for the eightieth time today that I was dead.

"You're surprised," 'Ron' continued. "I get that. You've just been dropped into this whole new world and now the weird stranger from the bar is standing in a cave with your dog waiting for you to arrive. Your reaction is pretty apropos."

"Yeah, you could probably say I'm 'surprised'", I snap back. "I'm 'surprised' that I walk through my door and wind up in the goddamn jungle with giant snarling beasts I couldn't even imagine trying to make me into a before-dinner snack. I'm 'surprised' that I wind up in this giant cave only to find you of all people and that doesn't even cover why or how my dog is here and what he's doing with you. So, yeah, I'm a bit 'surprised' by all of this."

He smiles that smile again and I want to hit him. I want to hit him in his stupid face and make that smile disappear forever. "Ron" turns to Hulk, still smiling that smile, and nods.

"Buddy, you've got to calm down," came a voice from the shadows. Those were the words I heard my dog speak before I hit overload and passed out.