Lost in Thought

Chapter 15

We slept that night, the best night of sleep we'd all gotten in quite a while. With such a big day on the horizon, Xavier thought it best that we rest up as much as we possibly could before embarking on our mission.

Initially, I couldn't sleep. Part of it was due to the fact that we were sleeping during the day, our plan to begin hatching at dusk, so our sleep cycles were completely thrown off. But more than anything, my anxiety and anticipation of what lay ahead kept me tossing and turning. Eventually, my eyes shut tight, I found the sweet comfort of sleep. It was seemingly gone in a heartbeat before Xavier was waking us up.

The fire flickering in the darkness of the cave, we prepared ourselves.

"Now," Xavier began, "comes our finest hour. We have a difficult task ahead, but we must remain vigilant and we must remain mobile. If we stop or slow down for even a moment, that could be the moment Dessel uses to beat us to the punch. And if that happens, it won't just be us who pay the ultimate price. So be quick, be relentless and be strong."

"So what is it we do when find this thing?" I ask, not entirely sure I want to know the answer. "I mean, beating Dessel to the punch is great and all, but what happens then?"

Xavier looked into my eyes, a steely expression masking his face. Now I definitely don't want to hear the answer.

"When we find the ADM," he said with a stern look of seriousness, "We will need to get it as far away from the Dreadnoughts as possible. On a singular level, with them divided, we may be able to battle them. Together, fighting with all of their might, we stand no chance. Not without the ADM. When we do find it, you will need to pilot it."

A sinking feeling overtakes me. Several of my internal organs fall out of my butt and on the cave floor beneath me. Okay, they don't actually do that, but it certainly feels that way. I can't even mount a refusal, my mouth unable to form coherent words. I mostly just make random sounds and gestures, hoping that he can see my objection.

"I know you must be nervous," he said. If I weren't so busy panicking, I'd laugh.

"I must be nervous?" I can feel the emotion of everything that has happened to be since I arrived bubbling to the surface. Trying to maintain my calm, I fail miserably. "Are you shitting me right now? You guys bring me here, to this new place, drop a whole world of news on me, I watch the one mentor I've had here get his goddamn head pulled off and now you're telling me that I'm the only one that can pilot the machine that can end the threat to this world and save all of the life here? And you think I'm nervous? I'm fucking terrified, Xavier! There is no way I can do this!"

Xavier's expression doesn't change; he's probably gotten used to my nervous outbursts by now. Given a moment to calm myself down and speak like someone who isn't losing their mind, I manage something a little more composed.

"Okay, I know I have a tendency to do that," I said apologetically. "But please, put yourself in my shoes. This is all so much to take in and even when I feel like I'm getting the hang of all this and all I can do, you guys drop something newer and bigger on me. I'm still just a guy. It's hard enough for me as it is and then you guys drop the world on me and expect to take it in stride and I just can't do that. I just can't, okay?"

Xavier remains calm, placing a hand on my shoulder. Something about the gesture puts me at ease. Not totally, but enough to make it feel like the weight of the world has been removed from my shoulders.

"Peter," he says quietly, almost low enough that I can't hear him. His hand still on my shoulder, he continues. "Before you ever came to us, Ron spoke of one man. 'Soon, we'll find the one man who can lead us to peace and prosperity'. That's what he always used to say. And as the days passed and the struggle became the daily reality, I doubted him. I doubted his vision, I doubted his ability to lead us and I doubted his plan for where this would all end up."

He paused for a moment, his eyes looking down to the cave floor. I'm not sure if he was searching for the right words or just paused for dramatic effect, but he continued after a moment.

"But when we finally did meet you, all of those doubts were alleviated. Not because you showed this magical ability to be everything that Ron had predicted, but because he made us see what you could be from the moment you arrived. He showed us your potential, promised us that he would help you deliver on that potential, and more than anything else, he never wavered. He never doubted what we were doing. He never doubted who you were or what you could be. And that was all I ever needed. I didn't care how long it took or how difficult it was to get there. Because Ron believed you were what we'd hoped for, that was all I needed. So if Ron believed in you with all his heart, I know that I should, too. And in the time that we've known one another, you have done nothing but show promise, Peter. I know that you are the man we've been looking for and that is why I know without a shadow of a doubt that you can pilot the ADM when we find it."

"You know," I said, cracking a grin, "you guys are all really quite good at making speeches. Was there a class I missed when I first showed up here that you all attended?"

Smiles spread across both of their faces.

"Well," Xavier says a bit slyly, "I don't think Michelle's speech would have been quite so touching."

"Mine would have definitely been a bit more shouty," she said, smiling that big, beautiful smile she so rarely displayed.

Grin still plastered to his face, Xavier tries to regain our focus.

"Now," he continued, "there is one other thing that you must know: when the ADM was created, it was housed beneath these hills by the liberation force that came before us. They built it in a state of the art underground facility, but were wiped out by the Dreadnoughts before they could do much with it. Getting to it won't be easy and time will be one of the many factors going against us, but get to it we must. Will we be under great risk, but this will undoubtedly be our only chance."

Feeling my adrenaline beginning to rush already, I nodded my head. "Tell me what needs to be done."