A Hockey Player's Guide To Deception

Chapter Forty

Louis watched Kayla walk away, his heart sinking to the pit of his stomach, each step a quiet reminder of his actions, the look of horror in her eyes, the tears on her face. He had never seen Kayla cry like that; nothing had ever broken her before. Knowing he was the reason broke a part of him he didn't even know existed. 

His eyes bore into her back as he watched helplessly, her retreating figure growing more distant, more blurred, as the space between them widened. He wanted to run after her, to beg her to forgive him. He would take whatever she hurled at him...anger, words, even silence he just needed to know this wasn't the end of them.

It couldn't be.

It ate at him, drilling a hole in his head whenever his thoughts spiraled. He had been going to tell her...at his own pace...but instead she had found out in the worst way possible. If he could travel back in time, he would. He would tell Edward to eat shit. He would do everything differently.

He always did this; he always ended up hurting the people closest to him. This was what he had feared most that he would let her down like this. He felt everything at once: fear, shame, resentment, guilt, and sorrow, all crashing into him at the same time.

The pressure in his chest worsened. He took a step back and leaned against the wall, his breath coming out in short, rasping pulls. His hands dragged down his face in frustration.

A strangled groan tore from his throat.

"It was for the best."

Louis whipped his head toward the voice cold, calculated, exactly as he remembered it.

"Fuck off!"

Edward stepped closer, eyes sharp, almost amused. "Don't tell me you actually liked her."

"Get the fuck out of my face."

Louis pushed off the wall, spine snapping straight as he rose to his full height, every muscle coiled tight. His hands clenched at his sides, knuckles burning.

Edward didn't flinch. He only smiled a slow, deliberate thing meant to provoke, Louis's jaw clenched.

"So you did," he said softly, like he was savoring the realization. His gaze dragged over Louis, invasive, dissecting, as if he were peeling him apart piece by piece to see what was inside.

"You're a real piece of shit." Louis spat, heat flooding his chest, his vision narrowing.

Edward let out a quiet chuckle. "Ah, yes. Blame me for the consequences of your actions," he drawled, each word pressed in like a bruise.

"Consequences of my actions?" Louis snapped, taking a step forward before he could stop himself. His pulse roared in his ears. "Are you fucking crazy?"

"I didn't hold a gun to your head and force you to do it," Edward moving closer, looking at him intently. "You did it of your own free will."

"You know damn well I would've done anything to keep it a secret."

Edward sighed. "Just like you Louis, to never take the blame."

Edward had a soft voice...gentle, never raised, almost kind at times. That was what made it so unsettling.

Louis let out a sharp, bitter laugh. "You know what? I blame myself. I blame myself for ever thinking a psychopath like you could be--"

Edward tilted his head, eyes glittering. "I was handed the truth on a silver platter. How fortunate I was to be at the place at the right time. I almost missed it you know, but something told me to stay back and watch. I simply discovered the truth and chose how to use it."