my first love

Chapter 1: Alone

Hey my name is Alexandra. I am 15 and in my sophomore year in school. I miss school so much luckily, school has just started and I was so excited! Until these three girls came over to me and bumped into me (of course I was alone, because I was always alone.)

Girl 1,"Hey, I am so sorry!"

I laugh a little. "It's fine."

Girl 3,"Why are you laughing?"

I look at her, "I am sorry! People just don't say sorry when they bump into me."

Girl 2, "Why? That is so rude!"

"It is because I am not a liked person. A lot of people don't like me is what I am saying." I turn my head hanging it in despair trying my hardest to not cry, but the tears slip.

I quickly say, "I have to go!"

One of the girls had tried to ask me my name, but I ignored her and went into the bathroom and started to cry. I rubbed my finger over my scarred arm. I don't look at the scars because I know I will want to make new ones. The next thing I know the school bell rings. I quickly roll down my sleeve and rush to my first class.

I am early so I am almost the first person in that class, so I pick the seat I want (which was in the way back,) and look down. Then all of a sudden I forgot that I had forgotten to clean my eyes off. A few girls walked into the

classroom and looked at me.

"CLOWN!" They yelled and kept repeating it.

"Ha-ha, what the hell is wrong with that girl?" Said one of the girls before all of them sat in front of me.

Holding back tears, I put my head down as more people walked in. Before class had started I noticed someone sitting next to me. It was a guy that was very handsome. I remember him from somewhere... Oh yeah he rides my bus. Oh God it is Samuel. I can't believe that he sat next to me, I needed to ask him!

"Why did you sit by me?" I said my voice very shaky.

He looked at me, "Because I wanted to. Is there a problem with it?"

I looked away quickly, "No not at all. Sorry for asking!"

Then suddenly a rolled up piece of paper was thrown at me by the girls in front of me. I know this because it had a glossy kiss mark on it with the girl's in front of me lip gloss. When I opened it up it said;

Piece of trash! Did you even look in the mirror this morning? XOXO

I then looked away and put the note in my sweater pocket. A tear fell from my left eye but I quickly wiped it away with my sweater sleeve. The girls then start pelting me with pieces of paper yelling "TRASH!" The continual laughter from the class was unsettling. Everyone in the class was laughing except for three; the teacher, Samuel, and one of the girls that I had seen before school had started.

I yelled to the three that weren't laughing, "WHY AREN'T YOU LAUGHING! I MEAN IT IS FUNNY RIGHT WATCHING SOMEONE THAT YOU DON'T KNOW BE BULLIED BY HER PEERS. IT IS NO BIG DEAL FOR A NOTHING LIKE ME TO HURT AND BE HURT!"

After that I ran out of the class and into the bathroom. I could hear the laughter and the names.

TRASH

TRASH

TRASH

That one word was going through my mind as I made it to the bathroom. I pulled out my razor thought of the names and made my first cut onto my arm. Every time I think about the names and Samuel I cut deeper and deeper. Until I hear someone run into the bathroom. There were two people (it was Samuel and that one girl.) Wait why is a guy in the girls bathroom and how does he know my name.

"ALEXANDRA!" He yelled softly but comforting.

I guess they both heard my muffled cries, and knocked on the stall that I was in. They kept knocking but I wouldn't answer. They were both talking nicely to me and saying nice things.

"Stop saying that." I said softly not wanting to start crying again.

"Alexandra, just let us talk to you!" Samuel said shuffling his feet.

"Why would you want me to talk to me? And how do you know my name? Ugh it doesn't matter just get out of the bathroom so I can clean up my face." I said with a sense of urgency so I could clean my open cuts.

When I got out of the bathroom they were both standing there. When they saw me they had a small smile on their faces. It was a smile for comfort in my opinion.

"Why are you guys smiling?" I said looking at them.

"My name is Moriah! I didn't think that you knew my name since you ran off this morning." She said still with a small smile on her face.

I guess now at least I know her name. They kept talking to me telling me everything was going to be alright and stupid people say stupid things. I was sort of feeling like I finally had someone on my side. Unexpectedly I felt a sharp pain in my arm and started to feel dizzy. I blinked and grabbed one of their arms not knowing who it was. At that point everything went black and I hit the floor.