As I sit here on my yard I'm made aware of many things. A gentle breeze gently flowing through my hair, the sound of cars zipping past me, how the grass feels as soft and as comfortable as my bed. The sweet aftertaste of the last piece of Popsicle that I stole from one of my family members, the smell of someone's home cooking drifting from somewhere in the distance, and the fact that no matter how much I want to I will never get out of my eternal darkness. I will forever be able to hear, smell, taste, and feel, but never see.
It wasn't always like this though, I used to be able to see everything. Like the smiles on each of my families faces when they saw me coming, or the way they would dance whenever our favourite songs came on. But now it's just nothing. Some days I can't even remember how I look, not that I care, it's just I can't help but feel like I'm missing out on the best things because I can't see them happening before me.
I remember when I first came home after losing my sight. It was honestly a nightmare the first week, I had lost my sense of direction, so as you can probably imagine I knocked things over, ran into things head first, bumped into people and in that first week this all happened frequently everyday. I mean, I even needed to be led to where I could go to the washroom. I was never allowed anywhere near any of the stairs. Honestly I was always being watched, my family would actually take turns at keeping an eye on me. It was horrible. But I eventually got the hang of using my other senses to make up for my lack of vision and I adapted to the new life I had been given.
I'm not going to lie and say I wouldn't change what happened to me to make me loose my sight. Because I definitely would. I really miss being able to know my surroundings and some days I find it hard to be happy but I mean it's not like I can do anything. I can't even leave without someone from my family following me. And even if I could what would I do? Run into traffic and get hit by a car in a selfish way to end my misery, just to create more for the people I leave behind? Yah, no thanks.
A low rumble emanating from somewhere in the sky brings me from my thoughts and back to reality. I knew this was coming I could feel it in my bones and I loved it. There is something about the rain that I've grown to love since going blind.
I think it's the fact that I don't have to be able to see that the clouds rolling in to know its coming.
First I feel the temperature drop and this loss of heat bring on a more crisp, clean scent to the air. Then the worms hit you, the potency is so strong that you can practically taste it. Then the rumbling comes and at that point you know what's next.
I feel the first drop hit my coat of fur. Then another. Then another. And next thing I know it's pouring. It hasn't actually rain in a long time so I am reveling in the time I have before someone comes to take me back inside. It's not that I want to go back inside, no, if I had it my way I would stay out here the whole time. It's more so that I don't have a choice because, God forbid I get any furniture wet. Just as I am soaking up more of the beautiful weather I feel a tug on my leash.
"Maxi! C'mon your gonna get wet and mom won't be happy!" Henry calls to me, he pauses for a few moments before speaking again. "Your not really gonna make me go out into the rain and get you, are you?" There is silence for a few more moments before I here him huff out a breath and venture out to where I am.
With one hand on my back and the other holding my collar, he gently guides me to the house. Before entering I shake to get the water off so my people won't get mad and I faintly hear Henry mumble "Ah man." Then I walk in leaving behind one of the only things that brings me joy now a days.
