Heartbeat [Niall Horan]

We all like to believe that we are untouchable. That when disaster strikes into our otherwise peaceful lives we will fight back and soldier on. This is a natural thing to believe, considering that at some point in life, every person will be called on to fight back and continue on with their life as if nothing has happened. For me, this so-to-speak "calling" began in the midst of a war.

I was untouchable, or so I thought.  

War.

What do you think of when you hear that word? Do you think of bloodshed and guns? Perhaps those bold, handsome soldiers you've seen in the media come to mind, proudly representing their country. Or maybe you even think of video games. The realistic, violent kind that teenagers play for hours on end.

War, I'm going to tell you, is not about blood, nor guns, nor soldiers, nor games. It is, in fact a tragedy that comes in two separate forms; external and internal.

External war is the type that is waged physically among men, leaving bruises and scars on the surface. It is a difficult battle, often times requesting "the ultimate sacrifice".

Internal war is the aftermath of external. It is waged mentally and emotionally among a single man. It is the "what if's" and the "why not's". The self-hatred and the guilt. Of the two, internal is the most demanding battle that a man can ever face.

War.

What qualifies an unruly girl like myself to inform you about the two kinds of war?

As a veteran of both, more than I ever wanted to.

For now, though, in order to understand the ending you must understand the beginning, and the beginning for me was the outlandish idea of falling in love.