Shouldve been us (bk. 3 of Things I'll never say)

05 || Shouldve been us

August 28 2014

"it should've been us"

So damn deep in google images reading "hurting crush quotes" yes, I'm desperate. SO DESPERATE. That I don't even know what to do..

Images says;
"You have NO idea how fast my heart races when I see you."
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"I have a hopeless crush on someone I have no chance with."
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"Dear crush, don't be scared if a big fat man in a red suit snatches you away on Christmas list. Sincerely, you were on my Christmas wish list"
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"It hurts to know that you will never remember the things I couldn't forget."
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"If a girl admits that she likes a boy, know that it took her every ounce of courage she has. Don't take that for granted."
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"You never know how much you love someone, until the though of them being with anybody else, is enough to break your heart."
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"All I did was love you and all you did was hurt me"
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"I'm sad, hurt, angry, mad and disappointed. But you know what? I'll put on a a smile and move on. It'll hurt, but I'll survive."
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"True love would always find ways to understand pain"
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"You never leave my mind even if there are million things to worry about"
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"Di porket iniiwasan kita, ayoko na sayo. Sobrang kinikilig lang talaga ako titigan ka ng matagal sa mata" (translation; it doesn't mean that when I stay away from you, I hate you. I just can't take it of how cute you look if I stare at you too much)

SO RELATABLE 💁🏻😛 (If u know Conan Gray, congrats, your now one of my baes&ily 💜)

Yesterday, was just plain tragic. Nothing else. Flashback:
Dismissal ⏰📚🔫

Just peacefully sitting in the waiting area with the whole squad (uncomplete but eh) when the "boys" whole own gang comes up to us and talks shit (yes he's there)
"Don't they knew how easy it is to throw a Popsicle into an ugly face?!" Standing up, I said with my Popsicle in my hand. I was just really about to do it but rio stops me to, when she finally lets go of my arm, I threw it into Rams face leaving a strawberry red mark in his uniform. I had enough, so I went home.
My fetcher offered to buy me food in the store but I told him not to and just wanted to go home. On the ride home, I was crying... in all truths I don't even know why I'm crying? Maybe it's because it hurts to just realize that theirs -1% of us being close to each other? I-it's confusing! Okay! I'm confused on what to do! Do I still even want to live or just die?! I know pain is part of life but I'm 11 and this is all too much for me for crying out loud! Loving someone isn't easy and I know but I'm not the type of to tell everybody that butterflies are all around my stomach whenever I see him instead say it in a playful way and pretend it's joke. Because it'll look cheesy, and then people will start to hate me because of it. But this attitude doesn't mean that I'm not proud of liking him. IM HELLA PROUD! That I'll like someone like him. "If you fall in love with someone's personality, everything about them tends to be beautiful" (quote-via-tumblr) 💕 but he's not being worth it... no affection received&returned. Even if it hurts.. I'll still love him because he's been a part of my life, still is and will be. And I'm proud that even if I'm not his and he's not mine, I could tell someone that "hey, I love someone who's imperfect as hell but I don't care cause him being imperfect, makes him perfect in my eyes and that will never change.

"I want you babe, I still want you baby" - Cadillac song Ariana grande