Shouldve been us (bk. 3 of Things I'll never say)

02 || kid in love

Nothing gets better. If it does, then it's that time when you comepletely forgot about it because of receiving much more pain.

Letter to you,
I'm seriously sorry for everything I have ever done to you. But you have to know that ever since I met you, you were the only person that's ever been on my mind. The time where I sit next to you in 2nd quarter, I used to ask what number you wrote in the math homework with the reason ; "I couldn't understand your writings, do it better next time", that's never true, I ask you because I wanna know the feeling of you talking to me, I just want to hear your voice over and over again since then. The time when Ms. Arnie asked you to move behind me, I raised my hands to say something, (she didn't call me though) I wasn't gonna report you, I wanted to save you that time. Say that you weren't that noisy (even if you were really). I wanted to save you everytime you got scolded because you don't fucking deserve it. The times when I got mad at you, I was actually laughing in my mind about the funny things you've done. I tried everything I could to get your attention but it seems that you don't notice a single one of them. In the Filipino roleplay before, the day when I asked our group to go in school on a Saturday, I only did that because I know I will get to see you one more time for the week. When we were on the rooftop, I took a picture of you when you didn't notice. When you told Dr. Sese that I don't want to practice, my heart broke because you were mad at me but all I wanted is to see you one more time of the week because you have no idea how much I miss you every fucking single time. In palaro, I used to push you and rio together because I thought that she liked you much than I did, and I wanted to make my bestfriend happy. I didn't realize that she didn't love you as much as I did when she left you again for JP in under 3 months and come saying to me again that "I don't know who to choose between JP and Bryan" it fucking hurts my fucking heart to see you hurt because she left you. But to let you know, I never stopped loving you, your all I thought about the whole year and every day in summer. While I was in camaya coast, camsur water sports complex, grandmothers funeral, with my cousins, your always there in some special place in my mind and heart. And I still fucking love you. Even if you do stupid things sometime, you still look so adorable doing those stupid things. Most people says that your ugly but I will always like you, care for you and think your fucking awesome no matter what. All I'm trying to say is, you mean the universe to me and I would give up ANYTHING, even my own life just for you. Remember that.

Just like Bruno Mars said, "I'd catch a grenade for ya, throw my hand on a blade for ya, I'd jump in front of a train for ya, I would go through all this pain, take a bullet straight through my brain, yes I would die for ya baby, but you won't do the same."

Yours truly,
A.