Stare At the Photograph - A.F.I.

11

ALYA

I never did see him again.

Ashton.

Or Michael.

My body was physically not doing well after all of this. I would have no appetite, then eat everything I could get my hands on, and then throw it all up.

I mean Ashton was just a rebound and someone to use just piss off Michael. I hope he knew that. He has my camera though. I really want it back but I don't want to ask him for it.

I can't even ask anyways. I don't have his number. I would have to dm him on Instagram where he probably gets a million requests. I don't have the Instagram app anyways, so I would never even see the message.

Life goes on. You meet new guys with actual jobs. I've went on one Tinder date as soon as I got back, but it ended badly.

My best friend Veronica did get an invite to that celebrity dating app Raya and has been bugging me to download it. Did you know you have to pay for it? Crazy for a dating app.

She's my favorite person in the whole world that knows everything about me, well almost everything. I never told her about Ashton. I never told anyone about him. It's too embarrassing.

"C'mon Alya! I know you said no more celebrities, but the guys on the app are all like wannabe celebrities so they don't even count!" V says, curled up next to me in my bed.

"Need I remind you the last time I dated a famous guy? Him cheating was posted all over the internet." I say to her while she's swiping through the app.

"But it's fun! Look at this guy! He's a model." She says, showing me a beautiful guy with dark curly hair. "Or him? I know we said no musicians, but he's a drummer and we're making an exception!"

V turns her phone to me to show the profile of the guy and my jaw drops.

"I know right! I'm swiping on him!" Veronica says.

"Veronica no!" I call out, but she swipes on him.

"Fuck."

"What?" she asks, as her phone flashes with the words 'It's a Match!' on the screen. "Ooh! You matched!"

"V, I didn't tell you because I felt like a shitty person." I say turning to her. "I need to tell you the full story of what happened in New York."

—

I grab a bottle of wine from the kitchen and sit down on the couch with her. I quickly uncap the screw top lid and start downing the bottle.

"Slow down girl!" Veronica exclaims. "What the hell happened in New York?"

I quickly recap everything that happened between Ashton and I in New York — minus a couple details about the sheer amount of times I slept with him.

"Wait, wait!" V says in between sips of wine "You found out Michael was cheating on you and you slept with his best friend?"

"I know I know!" I bury my face in my hands. "The worst part: he has my camera..."

"Aly no!" Veronica says with shock, "You said that you couldn't find it! You love that thing!"

"I know!" I say sadly. "I think it was karma. Plus, I've been having really bad anxiety since."

"Karma's a bitch." Veronica replies. "Ooh! You've got a message... from Ashton!"

"Oh god," I bury my face in my hands. "Do NOT open that. I can't believe he matched with me."

"Well, it's your opportunity to get the camera back." Veronica says, rubbing my back. "You got this girl."

I tell V to open the message because I was so nervous to.

Ashton: Long time no see

"He's so lame." Veronica says, rolling her eyes.

I grab the phone from her and stare at the text. How do I even respond to that? Do I even respond to it? Why the hell did he swipe on me?

A new message appears in our chat.

Ashton: I know u read that

I let out an audible groan and text him back.

Me: yk you're so lame right?

Veronica chuckles as she pours herself a glass of wine and I read aloud his reply.

Ashton: That's definitely not what you told me a month ago ;)

"He's so gross!" I said, groaning again while Veronica laughs.

"I think I'm gonna take this glass to go." She says, calling a rideshare on her phone.

"You cannot be for real right now!" I say, getting up from the couch.

Veronica slips her sneakers on and says, "Hang out with him!"

And she's gone. What is happening right now? I look down at my phone.

Ashton: Wyd?

Me: dreaming about the day i get my camera back

Ashton: Let's grab drinks
Catch up

Me: catch up? we were never friends

Ashton: Well then let's start. Send your phone number

All I have to do is go wherever he wants to go and get the camera. I don't actually have to get drinks with him. I send him my number.

Unknown Number: Hey beautiful
It's Ash

Me: ok. so how am i getting back this camera?

Ashton: Let's go get drinks tn
I'll pick u up @ 7

Me: i can drive myself

Ashton: Now what kind of guy would I be if I didn't pick you up. It's not like I'm a stranger.

Me: fine. 132 Fisher St.

Well I guess I'm gonna actually have to go on the date to get my camera back.

I start putting on my makeup, but pause. I'm only dressing cute, so in case he tells Michael, he'll know I've been doing better without him. Yeah. That's why. I don't know why I'm trying to convince myself otherwise.

I'm going on a date with Ashton Irwin.