HIGH ROLLER ! [TRIGUN STAMPEDE]

The Point

sorry this is the problem with writing the epilogue to part 1 before season 2 is out means retconning some details.

but also good call on removing her hat (shedding the "shana revy" callback to the other fic) now i don't have to struggle to draw that stupid hat anymore (so ignore this character design besides maybe the dress).

NOT LIKE THEY DIDNT JUST GET RID OF LINA THO, so I'm not the only retconner here. Gone like damn.

just like stampede/stargaze is using in spirit telling rather than retelling of trimax, also doing some borrowing of elements from my old fic again with the whole authority/memory thing which luckily fits near perfectly with the progression of the new season.

if it were all a simulation, could we call this session 3.

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PART II • HIGH ROLLER!

The point. What was the point again?

I take a long drag, inhaling smoke up through my nostrils so I can feel the burn on the back of my throat and nose hairs before blowing it out. This thing, this doesn't even mean much anymore. I could quit sure, but that's more the punishment now. Haven't had a single degrade in lung function in the last hundred years, what's the point of doing it, or not doing it anymore? What's the point?

You gotta pay him back.

True, I was a big asshole. Not like I didn't warn him or anything. Everybody knows that about me! I'm a stone cold bitch, you're gonna get hurt!

But that's no excuse. Resigning myself to scum of the earth and making everyone else pay for it, blaming them. That's no way to live at all. What was the point of being like that anyways? I guess all things blur together, living this long. I ain't happy, I ain't sad, I ain't motivated, but i'm not unmotivated either.

I sigh, exhaling more smoke.

You gotta pay everybody back.

True, there were some people I was too lenient on too. That's what happens when you choose wrong. Everybody will get their dues... eventually. I'll make sure of it. When it comes down to it, there's a lot who will wanna give me an agonizing death, sure. I'll have no choice but to accept it.

I feel silly, I haven't allowed myself something so girlish and inconvenient in years as a white sundress, but it's been in my rotation lately and most especially when I'm wandering around in towns.

I could have gone back to see what I could do with Luida and Brad, but my survival would have inevitably drawn attention to the fact that Vash is still alive. If I were in his shoes... I figure he wouldn't want to be living right now. Not necessarily dead, but punished with a less than adequate life. I figured he didn't want the attention. With my contentious personality, I only settled on "retirement" so his state is beyond me.

I wasn't looking for him either. Even if I wanted to find him, I didn't try at all to give in to all my desires the last two years. I was the one who brought him to the place that would drive him to the edge so ignorantly. I shouldn't be walking around so guilt free as I am, retired, looking good, getting drunk. But I am. I felt my world come down in the crash once already, and I moved on. I'm selfish by nature.

I stop the tune and avert my eyes. I suddenly feel this gnawing, aching hole begin to unravel in my chest that wishes Nicholas was here right now, aches for the woman on the train those years ago, too.  Everyone before JuLai floods my mind.

The point is... the point is.... figure out the point!

I look again. The piano player months ago. I don't know why I thought it was Vash. I was wrong. Was it rude to assume he would play so shitty? The tune was almost the same as what I was trying to piece together with my whistles.