Just a replacement (one direction)

Chapter 5.

I'm laying in my bed looking at the ceiling, I've been laying like this for more than 2 hours already, I really like being here, learning more about performing, and tonight playing Band Hero was fun. But the more I think about it, the more I think that leaving home wasn't a good idea. I thought that Charlotte was better again, that she wouldn't break down again. But what if I was wrong? That me leaving the house and not saying where I am made her go back to the old routine again? After I saw how hurt Liam was because his best friend left, I hope that Charlotte isn't the same, I need to see her...

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 "Welcome One Direction, it's time for soundcheck and a little rehearsing now. At 19:00 we'll have a little interview with fan made questions. from 20:00 till 21:00 we'll have half an hour more questions and half an hour break. From 22:00 til 23:00 you guys will perform a bit more. Everything clear?" We nod and walk to the stage to start rehearsing. Today is the private performance for the lucky directioners who won tickets. It's also the first day where we'll play everything with the band, I only saw Andy and Josh yesterday when they came to cheer Liam a bit up. Apparently Andy is a very good friend of Liam and Josh is one of my-Niall's mates.

Rehearsing went better than I expected, I thought that I would mess everything up but once I knew how they walked over stage and in what order we'd sing the songs, everything came quitte naturally on me. Now I'm waiting in the dressing room till Lou will do my hair and make-up. I don't worry about the hair part but make-up... I've hated make-up since I was 8 and I accidentally ate my mum's lipstick, I was just an innocent kid and thought it was candy.

"NJ, can you play sit still for a moment, how am I supposed to do your hair when you can't sit in one posture for more than 20 seconds." Lou sighs, it's clear I'm irritating her but I just can't help it. The nerves are going trough my body, I can't stop my hands from shaking.

"Sorry Lou, I'm just so nervous, what if they notice I'm Jake, and not Niall?" I tell Lou, in the hope she'll be able to make me relax a bit.

"If you just sit still and let me do my work, even your own parents won't notice you're their child." Lou smiles at me trough the mirror. "It will be allright, don't worry NJ." She says, and that is it. I hope she is right, that no-one will recognize me....

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We've answered several questions, me only answering when the question was asked directly to me, when a fan asks: "Why do you guys call Niall NJ? Is it a new nickname or something?" This is the moment of truth, from this moment on, lots of fans will call me NJ, instead of Niall. Some part of me is happy about this, I often don't answer when people call me Niall, because I forget that they call me Niall. But an other part of me is scared, there's no going back anymore, Niall is NJ, Jake is NJ.

"haha yeah it's a nickname, to be honest I don't really know when it started, probably some day when we called Niall by his full name, we started to call him NJ, it stands for Niall James but I think you all already figured that out." Zayn answers, and we all laugh, like this is something funny, but it isn't, not when you know the truth. I look at Liam and see he's holding back some tears, luckily we have five minutes break before we start to perform and when we're backstage I inmediatly walk over to Liam.

"Hey Liam,  I know it's hard but we have to get trough this, just two more hours and we have a day without pretending." I say to him, hoping it will give some of comfort, but looking at Liams face I see my words didn't give comfort at all, they did the opposite.

"You don't know how it is, you don't know how it is to lose your best friend because you couldn't help him to get happy again. And we won't ever have a day without having to pretend, we might have a day off, but the press doesn't, when you step out of the door telling the world you're Jake, because it's your day off doesn't work. You have to pretend everyday, no you don't have to pretend to be NJ, you have to be NJ. If this goes wrong, I don't think we'll ever have Niall back, and I don't want that, I need my best friend. So you better be NJ, or we'll lose Niall forever." Liam looks at me like he will kill me if I end up not being able to make the fans believe I'm Niall. "Now let's go on stage, it's time."

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I never knew performing is so fun, during the performance I loved it, afterwards I felt guilty. How can I love pretending to be someone, I'm a replacement, I'm not wanted, just needed. I need to do something to cheer me up, but I have no idea what I can do. If I was home I'd just go to Charlotte's room to see if she was fine, and I'd watch some movie with my sister. But I'm not home, I never wanted to call my sister so badly. Wait no-one can stop me from calling her on my old number, I realise. And I grab my old phone out of my still unpacked suitcase.

Charlotte picks up the phone inmediatly, "Jake? Jake where have you been I miss you." I hear her say.

"I'm so sorry I left this way Lot, please don't cry okay, I miss you too, I just wanted to check if you're okay. Please don't go back into your old routine, can you promise me that sis?" I miss my little sister so much, since she had a rough period I've been very protective over her.

"I try Jake, I really try. But it would help if you tell me where you are and why you left, why didn't you tell me anything? That you don't tell anything to Mum and Dad is something I can understand, but not telling anything to me?" I hear that she's close to crying, her voice is breaking.

"I can't tell you where I am, but I'm helping a friend, I don't know him for that long but I have to help him. I don't know when I'll be back, I hope in less than two months but I can't promise you anything. I'm sorry I didn't tell you anything, I wasn't able to, everything just went very fast." Suddenly my door opens and Harry walks in.

"Hey who are you calling? You know it isn't possible, not now. And put some better clothes on, we're going to have dinner in a fancy restaurant." Harry whispers, so Charlotte won't recognise his voice.

"Sorry Lot, I have to go now. Remember I love you okay, and tell mum and dad that I'm okay, that they don't have to worry. Bye." I hang up the phone, I knew that it wasn't smart to call my sis at the moment Harry walked in.

"What did you do you idiot? I hope you didn't tell her anything, whoever it was. You don't have a girlfriend right?" Harry sounds very angry.

"I'm sorry bro, I know it wasn't smart but my sister went trough a hard period and I just had to know if she was doing fine. If you have a little sister yourself you might understand me. I'm hundered per cent sure she doesn't know where I am, or that I'm NJ. Relax." Luckily it was Harry who walked in, I think he can forgive me for calling my sister, if it was Liam it would be a lot harder.

"Well I have a sister, her name is Gemma, she's older than me. But even this is not an excuse, you should have been more carefull NJ, if Liam finds out about this he'll kill you." Harry's voice sound normal again, I knew he'd forgive me easily.

"I know, I know. Please don't tell Liam. And if you don't mind I'm going to change now." Harry leaves and I look in the closet to see if Niall has any nice clothes.

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Of course going to a restaurant meant being chased by press and fans. I'm not used to it yet and I don't think I'll ever be. When we're making pictures with a group of girls one of them asks: "Were is Niall?"

The boys and I all look at eachother, did she see trough everything? Does she know I'm not Niall? My heart starts beating like I'm chased by a serialkiller and I'm sweating like I just run a marathon. Was it all for nothing?

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Did this girl see that NJ isn't Niall? Why else would she ask where Niall is?

Please vote and comment, I'll upload a next chapter tomorrow :)