Just a replacement (one direction)

Chapter 15.

Jake’s POV

I had to face the boys again, I had to face them after I ran away. Face not only them but also Niall, a stranger who still influences a big part of my life. I’m scared, scared of what they are thinking about me running away, scared of having to tell them my reasons. Scared of losing everything I never had.

I enter the room and immediately everyone is silence. I sit down on the only empty couch, not looking up from the ground once. After a little while Charlotte whispers so only I can hear to go ahead. And that’s what I do.

“I’m sorry for leaving you all worried tonight, but I had to go away because I was scared.” I start my story, still not looking up. “I was scared because in the time that Niall was away and I was here to replace you, you guys started to mean something, as friends. When Niall came back last night I realized how stupid I was, I should have kept in my head all the time that I was just a replacement and that there would come a time that I had to go. Niall was back and I couldn’t face you guys, I couldn’t say goodbye to friends I never had.”

I stayed silence for a while, not knowing how to continue, not sure how I should tell them my real reason to be scared. I heard someone clear his throat, like he was going to say something but Charlotte stopped him

“Please stay silence, his story isn’t over yet.” Is what she said and it gave me the courage to tell my story, I didn’t care about the loss I might have to make, my story isn’t over yet, there are several years to live, with or without the four fools.

“When I was fifteen, I lost my mate, my bro. We stole some alcohol from our houses and drank it. After one glass I was already a bit tipsy and I stopped, but he didn’t, he continued to drink and drink.” Taking a deep breath I continue my story in the hope my tears wouldn’t fall down. “He drank too much, I knew it but I didn’t stop him. I didn’t stop him and now he’s dead. I never forgave myself for it, and I don’t think his parents forgave me either. After that, I’ve been a loner for like two and a half year, until a new boy came to my school and we became friends, he left when he found out about the dead which I partly caused. Since then I didn’t have real friends only people who I hang out with every once in a while. That’s why I was scared, because I finally found friends but they didn’t need me anymore and even if they’d still like me, I’m a murder.” Tears filled my eyes and I only saw a blur when I finally looked up to see the boys reactions, after a few blinks and wiping my tears out Liam finally spoke up.

“You know what I told Charlotte today?” I slowly nodded, scared that Liam was going to take his words back. “I still think the same way, I also did stupid things, we all did. And sadly it caused a dead in your case. But I don’t think you should blame yourself. First of all, it was years ago. Second, you were young and tipsy. And last, it was your friend who was the one who should have stopped the drank from spilling into his throat, not you.”

“I second that.” Zayn says. Both Harry and Louis nod in agreement. Maybe, maybe I didn’t lose any friends.

“I don’t think you want my opinion but imma give it anyway.” A voice speaks that I don’t immediately recognize, it’s Niall’s voice.  “I don’t really know you, but I know that you’re a fantastic person, you helped me, a stranger because you were fed up with your life and you thought I needed it. You helped your sister all these years. You helped Liam, you are a great friend for Zayn. Harry and Louis seem to have fun hanging out with you. The only thing you do wrong, and what I have done for a while, is worrying, over thinking everything. You and me mate, if we want it or not, are more the same than we want.”

I didn’t like Niall, he seemed okay but our lifes are tangled in a weird way and I don’t really know how to handle it yet. I decide to just give a sarcastic reply. “Thanks but  you  didn’t seem to think it was a bad thing that we’re alike just three days ago, no you thought it was very useful.”