1. Why is it that every time disaster strikes, I find myself without a proper blade?
2. Some cereals give me gas..
3. Dancing on the table may be my favorite past time
4. I really like banannas
5. I have super powers
6. I like to be naked
7. I AM MAN! (WOMAN)
8. I am the king (queen) of cheese!
9. My hair hurts
10. It's those darn aliens
11. It's official.. I'm in love with HOT DOGS!
12. Polar bears sleep with penguins, everyone knows that
13. Why would I study if I can pretend to study?
14. Community College is easier than sleeping with a lady
15. IT'S A CHALLENGE!
16. I fear chipmunks..period
17. Fupas are almost as sexy as your mom
18. How dare you tempt me with those bolgarious schemes
19. I was born at a very young age.
20. I lost my necklace and dignity in the river.
21. Are you afraid of raccoons?
22. Ask me about allergy relief
23. I want to punch bees in the face
24. Why are you calling me while im pretending to be busy!
25. Yay! I'm taking a poop!
26.well hello there dingleberry
27. Hey, what happens in vegas stays in vegas!
28. Yes, I would love to sled down your stairs
29. Let's run through the sprinklers!
30. You are a pain in the butt..
31.
32. RUMSPRINGA!
33. I hate when I have gum stuck in my hair
34. Stand away, you smell like boiled cabbage
35. Adventure time!
36. Quick find the source of the lights!
37. How dare you question my authority?
38. Chitty Chitty bang bang!
39. I'll go to the movies with you if you wait outside.
40. Stand back, your hair makes me nervous
41. I have never had this much fun since my last flash dance festival
42. Your dog needs to stop licking my feet
43. My name is (your name), but you can call me tomorrow
44. If you eat too much cheese it can clog up your butt, be careful
45. If barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
46. Running in place gets you nowhere, fast!
47. If you dance with me I promise to step on your feet.
48. Do you know what our state bird is?
49. Do you know what our state tree is?
50. When is national pie day?
51. Could you refrain from drinking pop, it gives me gas.
52. I prefer coke over pepsi.
53. I like cats..
54. I don't like cats..
55. I am afraid of snow
56. Sloppy Joes don't have to be sloppy if made differently
57. The only way I can explain it is as seeing your 3rd grade math teacher naked
58. My brain is swollen
59. No paperclip, I do not need your help
60. Why am I so amazing?
61. I am about to loose my shoestring
62. Do you have an extra earring that I can use?
63. Please don't lick my face in that mannor
64. If you pinch his butt I will give you a quarter
65. I have read a total of 4 and 1/2 books in my lifetime
66. You do know there are no real vampires?
67. When you lick my armpits it tickles.
68. Why say "I'm fuming" if your not on fire?
69. Yes this is my street, I own it
70. If your house was in the middle of the street that would be very dangerous
71. If you are Irish, you are born a great drinker.
72. Dogs smaller than a football are not real dogs at all.
73. It's 5:15 at nigh..do you know where your kids are?
74. I dare you to show your face!
75. If you park in the handicap spot I promise to limp into the store..
76. Your gerbil is giving me the stink eye.
77. Does this mean I get to keep my dictionary?
78. You know I don't know spanish.
79. I could see he wanted to joust with the table legs
80. Can't touch this!
81. SAFETY DANCE!
82. No one makes me bleed my own blood
83. My tire totally flew off of my car this morning
84. Would you like to kiss my flamingo?
85. The penguins are in the kitchen.
86. I carry eyeliner and small puppies in my purse.
87. You support me, like a bra.
88.We can't eat the bald eagle, they are endangered.
89. Save the Whales!
90. I own the heart of the ocean.
91. You make me feel like I need to poop.
92. When I sit, you stand..ready go!
93. This weekend is the best night ever!
94. I am super cool.
95. Oh silly boy, tricks are for kids.
96. Mommy always told me I would be prom King (queen)
97. Lies are like fake truths
98. If you ask for my number I may give you the rejection hotline
99. Ninjas are really good at basketball.
100. Sometimes your carpet makes me really angry.
__________________________________________________________________________
I had to change some of them because they were... Weird. Comment on whats you favorite one. I like 99 and 100.
Coolguy11📛™
YOU ARE READING
Funny Random Stuff
HumorAll I can say, is that this book will be funny. 2013 DJUnicorn
