Chuck norris jokes 1

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Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.

Chuck Norris has a stuntdouble for crying scenes.

Chuck Norris once crossed the road...no one has ever questioned his motives.

Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris once went to mars. Thats why there is no signs of life.

When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.

When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.

Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.

Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.

Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone.

Every Chuck Norris joke is a five star joke just because it says Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Comment on your favorite Chuck Norris Joke. If you don't know who he is, Your going to die.

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