Us and Them (Pink Floyd/Led Zeppelin crossover)

Chapter 1

"Robert?"

"Yes Jimmy, my dear?" The half-smirk adorning his face was teasing as ever.

Jimmy raised an eyebrow. "I know we're about to play a game of football and everything..."

"Yes?"

"... and I know that shorts is the standard gear..." He gestured to the two Johns huddled close to them on the pitch, as well as his own bare legs.

"Yes?"

Jimmy sighed. "... but did you really need to wear shorts that are, at least, three sizes too small for you?" He tried to avert his eyes from Robert's bulging lower half, without much success.

Robert chuckled, flicking his mass of curled, blond hair out of his face with a slight shake of his head. "I don't see why there's a problem? You've never complained about this before. If the combination of my tight shorts and bare legs is too distracting for you," he smirked, "then we could always - "

"Football, Rob," Jimmy stated, straight-faced. "Gigs, knock yourself out. But football - "

"Oh please," Robert laughed, "you love it really. I can see it in your eyes. And it's not as if you're not trying to impress," he said, casting a seductive glance in the direction of a group of female spectators swooning from the side of the pitch. "After all, I see you've shaved your legs like me."

"Hey!" Jimmy cried in indignation. "I wouldn't exactly call wearing insanely tight shorts 'impressive'. I have much more dignity than that. I'll have you know that I am a very classy gentleman."

Robert raised a single eyebrow.

Jimmy maintained his straight face.

Robert widened his smirk.

Then Jimmy just couldn't take it anymore. He burst out laughing, along with Robert, who was chuckling with a smug expression that indicated a victory. "Classy gentleman, my arse!" Robert remarked.

***

"What the fuck are they all laughing about?"

"Probably your nose, Rog," Nick jested. Syd and Rick sniggered in response.

"Oi!" Roger cried. "What's wrong with my nose?"

"I dunno," Syd laughed, "why don't you go over and ask them?"

"Me? Speak to them?" Roger scoffed. "God no."

"Okay then," Nick said, making as if to walk over to the other end of the pitch, "I'll just go over on your behalf and tell them you're not hard enough to speak to them yourself."

Roger sighed, turning up his nose. "I'm not finding any of this funny. At all."

"Well then lighten the fuck up!" Nick laughed.

"Hear hear," Syd and Rick chimed.

Roger jawline visibly stiffened. "Lovely. Well I'm just gonna say what I think. That bunch of curly haired fucks and posers that are laughing uncontrollably over there really are starting to grind my gears." He placed a long arm on his hip. "And I'll have you know, Nick, that the reason I'm not going to ask them to stop is because they are simply not worth wasting my time and energy on. End of. Happy now?"

Nick's eyes widened. "Well someone got out on the wrong side of bed this morning."

"Actually, he gets out of bed on the wrong side every morning," Syd added, his eyes dreamy and his tone calm.

"Hmph. Explains a lot." Nick frowned and pointed. "Wait, how do you know that?"

An audible sigh sounded from Roger. Syd just smiled vacantly. There might have been the slightest hint of a teasing look somewhere his eyes.