COME.AND.PLAY - The Final Blow *Finale* *JAMES MORIARTY FANFICTION*

21. Showers

"Y-ouu are?" He asked. I nodded. "Yeah." I smiled to myself and then glanced up at him. "Um, I'm happy for you. Congratulations." He said forcing a smile.

"Sebastian. Please get over this. I will never be with you. Ever. Just forget about me." I asked him. He just looked at me silent. "Sebastian you're a nice guy, you have great blonde hair and blue eyes and you're sense of humour is amazing. You have a nice body I mean- you could have any girl." I said.

"That's not the point. I want you. Maybe if I saw you first things would've been different and I wouldn't be stuck here wishing I had you." He muttered.

"Maybe. You're right, maybe things would have been different. But I love James." I explained. He nodded and shrugged.

"Well okay then." He said. I sighed. He didn't have to be like this. I soon fell asleep and when I woke we were back home in London. We had landed and James and Sebastian took the bags while I followed behind. We walked through the airport and we called for a taxi. We then soon arrived back home.

"Sebastian, you can stay the night if you like." James said putting the bags on the floor in the living room. "Thanks." Sebastian said.

I went straight to bed and slept all through to next morning. I woke up and James wasn't next to me. I frowned and thought he must be downstairs. As I walked out the bedroom I bumped into Sebastian who had come from the guest bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. I gulped. I hadn't seen him like this and let me tell you, it wasn't a horrible sight.

"Sebastian. G-good morning." I said. "Morning. James had to go early. So I took a shower before breakfast." He said as he eyed me. "D-did he say when he'd be back?" I asked. Sebastian shrugged. "No. Only that I have to look after you." I nodded. "Okay. Um, well... I-" I couldn't speak, and my mind was getting distracted. I bet he did this on purpose. However I don't know because the guest room doesn't have an en suite so he had to use that other bathroom I guess. And it was just a coincidence that he was standing in front of me as I came out of my room once I had woken up. A coincidence that I was staring at his hard toned body glistening with beads of sweat, obviosuly produced from a hot shower.

"Like what you see?" He said suddenly. I shook my head as I realised I had been staring for quite a while. "N-no, I just. I- um. No." I said.
He grinned. "Oh really?" He raised an eyebrow. He stepped towards me and I said, "Well, yes and I want breakfast so-" before I could finish he grabbed my wrist and pushed mee backwards. "Charlotte." He said softly. "Sebastian." I said.

"Kiss me." He asked. I frowned and was about to open my mouth to speak but he kissed me hard. His body pressed up against mine and all that was between us was a towel. And not a very thick one, mind you.

I started to get lost in the kiss and felt myself kissing back and that's when I pulled away. "Sebastian no. No! Oh my god no. Don't- just- no. Don't ever do that again." I left his grip and walked away from him a little. "Please. This is wrong. I don't love you at all. You just-" I said.

"What was that kiss then?" He said.

"What?"

"You kissed back Charlotte."

"Sebastian no. You just. I mean I felt good. I just don't love you like I love James and I'm sorry but you have to get dresses and leave or I will tell James what happened." I said. "Charlotte. Don't tell him..." He said. "I will. Or else leave me alone. I have a child. A baby with James. Not you. I need to concentrate on myself and James and this baby. This is my second chance. The first time I had no idea and I killed it. I drank alcohol, too much and it passed away. And now I finally have another chance. So leave me alone. I have enough to deal with without you having this stupid crush." I said before I started walking down the stairs.

He didn't say anything else to me.
I didn't even notice he had left when I came upstairs he was gone and he wasn't downstairs.

Later that evening James came home. "Hello honey." He said as he sat next to me on the sofa. I paused the tv and James kisses me softly. "Did Sebastian leave?" He asked. I nodded. "How was your day sweetie?" He asked. "It was nice." I said. What else was it to be honest? What else could I say apart from 'oh yeah it was great, I was kissed by your apprentice again but I kissed back this time but I sent him away. It was a good day.'

"Good. Are you hungry?" He asked. I shook my head. "Sure?" He asked. I nodded. "Okay. I'm not hungry either." He said.

He looked at me. Not like, oh I see you. He looked at me like he knew something was wrong. He was concerned. "Sweetie?" He said.
"Hm?" I said looking up at him. "You okay?" He asked. I nodded. James smiled and he looked down at my stomach. He put a hand on my stomach and smiled as he rubbed it. "My little monster okay?" He asked. I smiled. "Yeah. Although I'm still a stick and not an elephant yet." I said. James laughed and smiled softly.

It was then that I felt everything crumble. The guilt of Sebastian, the guilt of not telling him things. The feeling that he is everything I want. He is all I need and want, but I felt nothing, except regret. Regret for doing certain things for not trusting him.

James was my life. Without him I was nothing. And it may seem like I'm in love with him, I am. But now I suddenly felt as though I just wasn't good enough for him. As though he deserves better. Someone truthful, faithful. His smile and his laugh made me smile every time. His chocolate brown eyes which seemed to melt as he looked at me. His jet black hair which was either ruffled after sleep or slicked back smartly. And they way he'd always straighten his jacket when he stood up, the way he'd always bite his lip when he concentrates, they way he hums softly to himself when he cuddles me at night. I was in love with this man. Totally in love. And yet I felt like I was letting him down.

"Kitten." He said. "Hm?" I said clicking back into reality. "Are you okay?" He asked. I nodded. "Sure?" He asked as he grabbed my hand. I nodded. "Okay." He said. He licked up the TV controller and pressed play.

We were watching comedy show and James had his hand on my leg and he moves it up suddenly. I kept watching his hand. He moved it up further and I bit my lip. Was he teasing me or just not realising it?

He looked at me and smiled. "Kitten.." He mumbled something under his breath. "Yes?" I said. "I love you." He smiled. "I love you too James." I said. James leaned over to kiss me and I kissed him back. His hand certainly moved up my thigh even more and I realised if he wasn't teasing earlier he was definitely teasing now. "J-James." I said against his lips. "Honey?" He asked. "I love you. So much." I said. James smiled and kissed me again. "I know. I love you too sweetie."