Undergraduates [h.s]

nine

Do you ever get it when you're trying to write a long chapter and it feels like you've written a second bible and as it turns out you've only written 479 words? Cause this is me rn.

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6:43pm

"I was just trying to comfort him, you know that, right?".

It had been some 20 minutes since Ed had appeared hours after he said he would. Really, I should've been angry at him. Instead, he was angry for seeing mine and Harry's bodies jolting up off of the bed, our hands still joined as one.

In that 20 minutes, there had been shouting, guilt tripping, and countless insults thrown between the two of us; Harry, nowhere to be seen, had sauntered off unnoticed whilst all of this was happening.

Ed and I had now calmed a little, both sitting on his bed where he had previously caught Harry and I in our hazy, tired state. His arms hung between his legs, his head lay low, his eyebrows pulled together in what looked like the craziest mixture of both anger and confusion.

"I get that but it's just the way you were laying there so...happy and unaffected by my presence just..." He slowly shook his head from side to side, eyes closed as he tried to grasp the situation. "Can I even trust you?"

"What?" His words caught me off guard as his voice was a slow whisper drifting in the gap between us, it was my turn to be confused. "Of course you can, why would you even say that, Ed? You're my best friend"

"But what if I hadn't come in when I did, what if it would've gone fur-"

"'What if' isn't the point. I know what you're thinking Ed and I think you're insane for thinking it, I hardly even know Harry, and you really think I would stoop so low as to-"

"I don't want to think about it. I know you don't know each other very well but..." He took in a deep breath "do I even know you well enough, for, this?" He waved his index finger in the space between us, and I could not believe what I was hearing.

"Edward" I pulled back from him slightly, and I could tell by the way he was looking at me that he saw the hurt on my face "it's been 3 weeks I can't believe you would..."

My breathing became heavier as I tried to finish my sentence. After his constant persistence for something to happen between us, he was actually suggesting that we weren't working, and that hurt my heart a little. Not massively, but enough for me to lose a large amount of respect for him.

"I was going to ask you to come with me to my parents' house this weekend" I whispered, almost choking the words out from my dry throat as my mouth hung open, completely dumbfounded and lost for words whilst I stared down at his hands gripping on to the edge of the mattress.

"You were?" When I looked up to meet his gaze, I saw he now held a more sad looking frown above his glossy blue eyes, he almost looked as if he were sympathising with me, and I was about to take full advantage of that.

"Of course" I said, reaching my hand out to his whilst offering him a smile "you know I go to have dinner with them once a month?"

I shuffled closer to him as he let out a simple 'mhm', running a hand up the worn out t-shirt that adorned his arm and shoulder. "They'd like to meet you" I moved my face closer to his, trying to make light of the situation, hoping this would wipe the slate clean.

"They would?" His eyebrows raised as he kept a still expression, sliding his hands around my waist.

"Mhm, so how about it?" With our foreheads touching, I nudged his nose with mine, causing a smirk to form on his lips as I felt him breathe gently underneath me.