Dan couldn't sleep for most of the flight, as it wasn't just the three screaming children that plagued the plane. This was really the first big YouTube gathering he'd been to since Phil left, and he didn't know what to expect. What if he saw Phil? What if things got even worse? Charlotte said she'd be free the whole time just to talk to him if he needed it, but what if something happened to her? He just couldn't sleep with all that running through his mind. Finally he took half of a sleeping pill he'd gotten prescribed and drifted off into a worried, dreamless sleep.
The plane landed without any trouble, and Dan stumbled out with the rest of the zombified passengers and into the airport. He grabbed his bag from the baggage claim and got an Uber to the hotel. For once, everything was actually going well. Char had texted him while he was on the plane, wishing him luck again and treating him as if he were her son. Friend-zoned again.
Dan didn't mean to be one of those guys, constantly complaining about being friend-zoned and all that, but in his situation it felt like he'd never be more than someone she had to help, put up with, a baby bird to nourish back to health. Like he was her son. Would he ever escape the child-zone? He thought no.
He'd wanted to go to Vidcon a day early, as to avoid any accidental encounters with Phil, but in the end Charlotte had convinced him not to. She said he had to at least try to have a normal experience, as hard as that could be. So, he was stuck in the busy, fangirl filled lobby while they tried to find his "lost" room key. He'd made sure to pull his hoodie extra far down when he noticed someone behind him.
Phil Lester.
Of course that was his luck. Have, of all people, Phil Lester behind him. He prayed Phil wouldn't notice him, and that the secretary wouldn't say his name while trying fruitlessly to find his key. Or maybe if he did notice him, they would keep standing in awkward silence until this woman finally found Dan's key and let him leave and cry in his room until he died of hunger or mustered up the courage to go out and find nourishment.
When Dan was actually able to leave, key in hand, a new problem arose. To get to his room, he would have to walk back past the line, giving Phil a full view of his face, hoodie or not. Looking at his feet, he began the walk of shame, but not without accidentally making eye contact with Phil, who looked a horrible mixture of hurt and angry that incinerated Dan's whole being.
He wanted to say something, that he was sorry, but all that came out was nonsensical stuttering. Before anything else could go wrong, he practically sprinted into the elevator, the fastest he'd moved since gym when he was twelve.
But with his luck, something else had to go wrong. In the elevator with him was a girl, totally decked out in YouTube merch, topped off with a llama hat.
"Oh my God. Dan Howell?" she yelped, eyes growing to the size of small beach balls.
"Yeah..." mumbled Dan, really not ready to deal with any of this.
She grinned, "Can I get a picture? Please?" Dan smiled.
"Sure," he said, trying to hide the fact that he was about to burst into tears in this tiny elevator. She whipped out her phone and snapped a selfie, Dan trying as hard as he could to grin from ear to ear.
Once she was done taking about 500 pictures, she asked the question. "So, I think we've all been wondering about this. What happened between you and Phil? It's like you guys never even talk anymore. Did you guys break up?"
Dan's stomach turned. She said "break up" like he'd loved Phil back. Which he hadn't since 2009, when he'd given up altogether on ever being with Phil. Since then he'd been with girls, only two, but he'd moved on. Maybe if he'd kept loving Phil back, things wouldn't have fallen apart.
"I really don't want to answer that," Dan managed to stutter out, hands curled into fists.
"Aw, c'mon. I promise I won't tell anyone..." she crowed, so ignorant to the flesh-melting pain she was putting Dan through.
"Listen, I really don't want to talk about that. Didn't you ever think that losing your best friend might hurt a little? People constantly asking might get a little grating? Honestly, I'm so sick of you people. I didn't even want to come to Vidcon this year, or any other year; just leave me the fuck alone and let me go on with my life!"
The girl stared at him, nuanced with fear and confusion. The elevator stopped, and she ran out, without a word. As the doors slid shut, Dan leaned against the railing, groaning. He knew he'd be hearing about this on Tumblr.
