One day in Brooklyn

Chapter 4

When I open my eyes I can feel the crusts of dry tears down my cheeks. My eyelids are basically glued shut with tears and goop. I instinctively rub my eyes desperately trying to get it off of me. My Mom is standing near the corner of the sectioned area watching me.

When she sees that I have noticed her standing there she smiles and walks to my bedside saying "Vito, you couldn't have picked a better best friend. She stayed until two this morning just watching you, making sure you were okay. Anytime you stirred she would perk up. I told her to go home and get some sleep. Being Ian she will be up here in a few hours." Mom takes my hand and squeezes it in hers.

"That's Adrian alright, she can't stay away, she is too worried about me, and she needs to be selfish once in a while." I say, I am trying to refrain from talking about my current state but I am scared, terrified even.

Mom sees the look of fright in my eyes and face. "Vito, you won't die, you’re going to be fine, and everything will be okay. You are in great hands." 

"Momma, those great hands need money, which is one thing we don't have." I say lamely rolling my head so I don't have to face her. 

"I will make it work," She says "I promise." I barely hear the last part before she kisses my hand and puts it down walking away from me and leaving me alone.  I sit in silence thinking about my future. I wasn't going to get married and have kids. I wasn't going to do anything, but sit in my room and play my cello. I would try and get into the grand symphony orchestra, but if I didn't make it that would be fine. My life wasn’t that important, I guess.

"Son, hold tight we going to take yous' to get some scans of that mass you gots on yous' abdoman." Says a new male nurse I haven't seen before. I nod in consent and close my eyes. As the movement of the bed startles me and my quiet peace nausea overwhelms. I start gagging and the man behind me grabs a bucket. I lean into it and vomit. When I am done the man gives me the bucket of mostly spitty chunks of mushed pancakes. It smells vile, harsh acid destroyed food doesn't please my nose and causes me to gag again. This time I am only dry heaving though and I can't stop. 

When we reach where we are going it is an actual room, it has a bench/bed and a couple chairs and a stool for the doctor. In the chair on my right sits none other than Adrian. Beside her is her older sister Jo (her real name is Joanne). Adrian gives me a smile, trying to cover up the red streaks down her cheeks and her puffy eyes. I know her too well and she has been crying for the past three hours over me. Jo is the one who surprises me though. She and Adrian have matching facial expressions. Jo's hands are shaking and her face is red from tears as well. She has been crying for me too, how weird. 

"Vito, how ya' feeling? Maybe you just have a stomach bug or something, it can't be cancer, just can't!" Jo says tears dripping down her face again. I just nod my head and lay down on the table. My eyes are burning with tears but I swallow hard and shove them back. The doctor rolls up my old shirt and presses his hands into my stomach feeling around everywhere. 

"Vito, you definitely have cancer. You have stage three non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma; we will start radiation therapy next week. You will have to come here a few days for six hours, two hours per session and an hour long break. You are free to go home now." The doctor says plainly.

Adrian looks like she is trying as hard as she can not to cry. Eventually she drops her head into her palms sobbing, her body shaking like crazy. Oddly enough I am filled with relief, at least they can treat this horrible thing inside me, maybe I can live a little longer, just to see her happy.

Jo stands up grabbing Adrian's hand roughly and pulling her out of the room. I slowly make my way off the table. Another spurt of nausea comes but I just swallow it down. I open the thick wood door and start down the hallway after Adrian and Jo.  Suddenly I drop to my knees. Pain worse than ever closes in on me. Tears roll down my cheeks as I close my eyes clenching my fists trying to outlast the pain. It feels as if I am in a competition, the pain is fighting to take over my body but I am fighting back. I pull myself up. Standing in the middle of the hallway I survey my surroundings. Adrian is being pulled away by Jo her face contorted with anger toward her sister.  Some pedestrians and patients scattered around are staring at me. 

I collect myself and grit my teeth walking down the rest of the hallway trying my best to cover up the pain. Eventually I am able to catch up with Adrian. She looks frightened and yet relieved saying "I'm so glad they are going to be able to treat it in some way, wanna come to my house? Your Mom doesn't want you to be alone right now and she is at work." 

"Sure," I say and follow Joanne's quick pace out the door.

We walk down the street a few yards then take a sharp left. Now, we are heading into the richer part of town. We go until we reach Adrian's house. It is a tall brick building split in half, a duplex. Adrian's family's half is a four bedroom, two bathroom house with a small kitchen and eating area tied to a living room, Jo instinctively looks around before reaching under the welcome mat for the spare key. Once she has unlocked the door she ushers us in quickly.  Adrian goes into the living room sitting on their nice, plush sofa. I go and sit beside her, we wait for Jo to leave before we start talking. 

"Vito! They are gonna save you! I just know it! I was so scared," she pauses, her voice cracking "I thought you were going to be gone, I can't lose you." at this she leans her head on my shoulder letting out a sigh of sadness. We sit in silence for a while and then the pain comes again. I grit my teeth and push my hands into tiny knotted fists. Adrian lifts her head at my change in stature. I get up leaving her alone on the couch. I think I will be able to walk without falling but that was a straight up lie to me. I drop to my knees and this time surrender to the pain. It changes me into someone I'm not. Pain hardens my facial features, my body is shaking rapidly.

It takes Adrian less than a second to respond. She grabs my hand dropping to my eye level. For a split second I can tell she is deciding what to do then it register and she says "Shhhh, Vito breathe, come on deep breaths, we will get through this together. I am with you, tell me what you need. Fight it Vito, COME ON!!!!! You can do this." She continues coaching me.

I let out a weird menacing growl. “Get your midget hand off of me!” I yell looking at her with flames in my eyes.

“Oh.” She says releasing my hand.

“Ugh.” I say blinking and shaking out of my trance of pain and personality twist. I gain control again. Now I am in a better position. I slowly breathe and am able to get up again.

We are quiet for a while then Adrian's soft voice fills the ringing silence. "What is it like?"

"It’s like the worst pain in the world. Like someone is repeatedly pulling a dagger in and out of my stomach. Like someone with huge hands is trying to squeeze my torso until I pop and blow up. It hurts badly, and I would never wish this terrible feeling upon another." I respond

"When you get like that all I want to do is take the pain from you, so I can take away that terrible look in your eyes." she says yawning. 

I lean over and grab the blanket and some pillows off the couch. I set the pillows underneath us and rest the blanket over her body. We are lying on the ground of her living room floor. 

“Adrian?” I ask

“Yes?” She says

“I can take pain.”I say sighing. Since we are both sprawled out we take up most space on the floor in between couches. Slowly, yet peacefully I drift into a sweet dreamless sleep.