hoping for death!

chapter 3

i waited till morning to tell charlotte and her mum my plans, i packed mine and zara's stuff again and called for a taxi.

Hearing them up i ushered zara downstairs whilst i brought our bags down. charlotte saw me and stopped what she was doing "janie...what are you doing?...why do you have your bags?" she asked, her lip starting to quiver, showing me that she knew what i was doing, she just waited for me to say it. i was about to tell her when helen walked up the stairs with a bundle of washing in her arms, she looked at me and charlotte and dropped the bundle, knowing what i was doing, i explained anyway...my sobs and fear clear in my voice, "i have to go! im so sorry, i wish i could stay but i cant!"

"but why?!" charlotte shuted, not at me but just to vent her anger.

"b-because h-h-he...my FATHER-" i spat his so called name as if it were acid on my tounge"- said if he EVER sees me or zara again he WILL kill us!" i said in a tone, pleading for them to understand.

tears rolled down charlottes cheeks as she asked "will you stay in town?" already knowing her awnser, but the desperation in her voice broke me, i started full on crying. but i just shook my head to reply to her.

"where?" she asked.

i had used her laptop last night to book flight tickets "qubec...with my grand pearents" i sobbed

at that her mum's head snapped up"grand pearentS?how come you didnt originally stay with them?"

"i was offered but at that time i was already being beaten and he told me he would hurt them and us if we moved...i was too scared" i said, asheamed of myself.

charlottes mum hugged me as char looked down to hide her tears. helen quickly ran to her room and wrote her e-mail, phone number and the house adress and gave me £100, my face dropped as i looked at her and with all the love and greatfullness i could muster up i said, a littel breathless from shock " thank you...so much"

hugging my like a mother she cooed " it's ok hunny, it should get you through should anything happen...either that or you can get some really nice stuff at the airport" shegiggled, lightening the mood. but as quick as it came, it went as we heard the taxi driver bib his horn. Helen kissed my forehead and said "i'll miss you, keep in contact" and as she let go i was held in a big bear hug from charlotte where we just sobbed as helen went downstairs to tell the driver we wouldnt be long, i looked up at her as we broke away and whispered " i will NEVER forget you, you;ve been the best freind i could EVER imagine! and i swear i will call you as soon as i get there and write and call all the time" i whimperd, truth and pain thick in my voice

"mee too" she said and we laughed humourlessly.

i walked downstairs and called zara. she ran to hele , hugged her and william and shouted bye to charlotte...she knew what was happening but was too young to really get upset. we cimbed in the car as the cab's engine started off, helen and william were waving at the door, i waved and as i looked up i saw char at the window, her face tear staned , we just looked at eachother for a while before she walked off...i wasnt upset though. i kenw charlotte wasnt the type to let people see her cry, it seemed to help me, the fact she didnt want a long good bye.

"where are we going" zara chirped as we pulled away.

"far...far away" i told her solomnly

and with that i watched as my life, past, freinds an family all drift away...the town that held my best and worst memories drift away...the place that made me who i am today, fall out of sight.