crack || m.c

➳ 3 ➳

School. I haven't been in two weeks. I've either been too high or too hungover to go. Today is Tuesday. Or is it Wednesday? I have no clue. I drag myself into a sitting position and check my phone. Its 7:00. I usually sleep through the day, so I'm surprised by my early rising. Deciding I need something to do, I get up and get ready for school.

My name is Imani. I live in west London with my father. I am an only child. Some people would say I'm wild. It's true. I'm out of my fucking mind. I party all night, go out and get wasted, and fuck whichever guy comes my way. I can't say my father's very proud of me. He's a lawyer. He works so hard to support me, and I ruin his reputation. But fuck him.

I pad across the hallway to the bathroom, where I shower. The hot water relaxes my tense shoulders, as it splashes over my body. I have the worst hangover. I spent last night with my best friend, Calum. I had no intention of getting drunk, but a bottle of beer led to a shot of vodka, and then to us getting shit-faced. Calum and I had been best friends since two years ago; we met when we had to work together on a science project. "You smoke?" I remember him asking me. "Smoke what?" I replied smugly. Boom. We have been friends ever since. He invited me over to his place almost every night. He was cool. He lived by himself, and claimed to not have parents.

I dry myself off and get dressed into my usual, ripped skinny jeans and my favourite Blink-182 shirt. I then wipe the steam off of my mirror and attempt to blow dry my long lilac hair into loose waves. I stare in the mirror at the girl looking back at me. I barely know her. I stare intently at my eyes. My deep hazel eyes that are glazed over and glassy, with deep red rings around them. I glance down to my arms that are covered in small marks. Self-inflicted marks. Cuts. Do I know this girl? Does anybody? I decide to give up on styling my hair nice, and throw it into a loose, high ponytail and begin my makeup. I swipe thick, winged liner across my eyes, something that has become second nature to me. I then grab my bag, making sure to take out any drugs or alcohol, as lately there have been security searching students' bags for any illegal substances. I then begin my haul to school. I take the tube for 20 minutes, sitting next to the most annoying child, begging his mother for some sweets.

I don't know why I decided to come here today, my dad has given up making me go, so he just leaves me be now. But here I am, walking through these dreaded gates anyway, trying my best to ignore the wolf whistles from numerous boys I've probably fucked before, I just can't remember.

"Imani!" calls Calum, from the other side of the grounds. "Hey," I say, reaching him. "How's your head?" he asks sheepishly. I laugh at him as we walk into the main building. "Everybody thinks we are together" Calum says, leaning into me, to avoid people in close proximity from hearing. Calum and I have had sex a couple of times, but it was just friendly. Both times we were both extremely drunk, and high. We don't see it as a big deal. "So?" I reply. I couldn't give two shits about what people think. I gave up worrying about that when I turned 15. Calum and I part ways to find our first class. I have no idea what class I have first, so I ask a girl standing near me if she had a copy of the timetable. "Get your own fucking timetable" she scowls. I'm pretty sure I slept with her boyfriend. I couldn't care less.

First up is calculus. The teacher has given me a paper with numerous sums and equations. I stare at the numbers blankly, as if they were a foreign language, before scribbling random song lyrics around the edges of the page.

By lunchtime, I am seriously considering going home. I walk into the cafeteria and grab a packet of chips and a juice box. I really need a cigarette. Ignoring my craving, I walk over to find my usual group of friends. "Imani, I haven't seen you in ages" beams Charlotte, her long burgundy hair flicking as she enthusiastically speaks. "Hey Char," I reply, not really in the mood for loud, chirpy voices. I look around at the other people sitting at the table. There is Caitlin, Fletcher, Annie, Will, Charlotte, James, Mali, and Lilli. A large group. These people I suppose are my friends. I party with them and shit so I guess they are the closest thing to real friends.

While sitting around the table, listening to people's stories about Saturday night's party, and who hooked up with whom, I feel a presence in the spare seat next to me. Expecting it to be Calum, I am shocked when I find Damon. "Hey sexy, haven't seen you around lately, where have you been hiding?" he asks, grinning. "Piss off Damon" I spit. "That's not what you were saying Saturday night" he remarks. I can't even remember Saturday night, but by looking at the fire in his eyes I can tell I fucked him. "I was so drunk, and what we did I have probably done with a majority of the boys in this whole fucking room, so I wouldn't flatter yourself" I scowl at him, before getting up and leaving the cafeteria. My craving for a smoke has now reached an undeniable level, and I find myself on my way to the boat shed. The boat shed is my favorite place in this whole fucking school. It's where people go if they need to smoke, and because it is hidden away in the far corner of the school grounds, the teachers are clueless to the fact that we hang out there. I crack open the door, the smell of marijuana instantly filling my nostrils and calming my senses.