Chapter five:
I lay in my bed, not falling asleep. It’s around five in the morning, when I hear the front door open and close. My eyes linger to my window, and a bright light is outside. I slowly walk to the window and see Gorgi sitting on the porch. I walk downstairs being light on my feet, when I open the front door Gorgi looks towards me alarmed.
“What are you doing up at this time?” I asked rubbing my eyes, and sitting next to him on the steps.
“What was mama like,” he whispered. I was taken aback by his question. Mama died when Gorgi was just six years old. He was young, but he never asked much about her death.
“You don’t remember mama?”
“Not very much, I can see her face when I sleep, but that’s all I see, a face without knowing it,” He looked saddened. Wrapped my arms around him; humming a song mama use to sing to him when he was just a baby, same as I.
“She was a very loving person, filled with so much compassion,” I smiled remembering everything she would do to me, how she was always there, so loving. “She us to say that you had the eyes of an angel,” which he did. He had these big brown green eyes that you just get lost in.
“Tell me a funny story Ava, about mama,” he leaned into my arms, and I held him closing my eyes.
“When I was about eight years old, I was playing outside, right in front of the house and I was watching this beautiful cardinal. It was flying everywhere like a crazy bird. Going from one tree to the other, landing on the ground turning a circle and do it over and over. Mama comes outside and giggles when she sees the bird, then the bird looks our way, and the bird comes charging at mama,” I said laughing remember when it happened. Gorgi stayed in my lap looking up at me as I told the story. “So here comes this bird, charging at her head, she jumps up screaming and running around,” I was laughing now. “This crazy mama goes and runs right into spiders web,” I throw my hands in the air. “She’s freaking out, spider in her hair, bird chasing her, pa comes out saying what going on here?! Ma is ranting Spider bird! Spider bird!” I’m smiling big. “Papa that she was crazy, absolutely mad, going around screaming Spider bird,” I let out a sigh. I don’t remember the last time I saw pa laugh like that. Gorgi was smiling and laughing.
“You think she is happy?” He muttered his voice breaking.
“Yeah, I think she is.”
“You miss Bibbie?” I looked at him with sorrow and nodded my head. “She’ll come back to you.”
“I hope so,” my voice faded.
“Is Johnny gonna die in war?”
I looked at him honestly shocked. How did he even know that Johnny was going to war?
“When did Johnny tell you?”
“Yesterday morning.”
“Why did you tell me?”
“He said he wanted to tell you, and I must stay silent about it.” It was silent outside, we stood there looking. “Do you hate papa?” I looked over at a Gorgi, and took a deep breath in crinkling my eyebrows.
“ I don’t hate pa…” I stopped. “ I don’t like him much, he’s my kin so ill always love him… But I don’t like him, I don’t…” I stopped again. “ I don’t hate him,” When I said this I even sounded unsure about myself. I don’t hate my papa; I’m not convincing myself though. I sat up, and Gorgi straightened up. I looked down at him messing up his hair, “ Get back to bed,” I smiled. He nodded his head and made his way into the front door. I sat outside looking into the woods. It was silent tonight, not peaceful; just that lonely silence. I stood up walking towards the forest, my feet touching the cool ground. Trees started to surround me, I put my hand on one of the tree trunks, and it felt cool. There was a small breeze, the forest was alive.
