Harry Potter: 19 Years Later

Chapter 57: A Troublesome Train Ride

Rose never thought she would feel this way, but she didn't want to go back to Hogwarts. 

She wanted to hide in her bedroom forever, her academics be damned. The pain she felt inside was far more profound than her love of learning. 

Nothing was helping her cope. She'd lost track of how many books she'd read over Christmas break, though none of them took her mind off her troubles. It frightened Rose that not even reading or studying could make her feel better. 

A pair of sharp tweezers in her makeup bag had been taunting her ever since she and Scorpius broke up. Rose knew physical pain was not the answer, so she resisted the sharp object. But it was so tempting. The tweezers seemed to appear sharper and sharper each time Rose looked at them.

No, Rose reprimanded herself, I have a family and friends who love me. I'm not going to resort to self-harm over a stupid boy. I'm better than that.

And so she rid herself of the sharp tweezers, not caring if she'd have bushy eyebrows later on. With the temptation gone, Rose felt safer with herself. 

Mishaps with her powers began happening after the breakup as well. Her tangled up emotions and deep depression were a perfect recipe for disaster. This was why she never left her room and avoided everyone at all times. Rose was a walking time bomb. 

And one of these days, she was sure to explode. 

Putting those terrifying thoughts aside, Rose reluctantly continued packing her school trunk, which she failed to do the night before due to no motivation. It was currently in the early morning hours, shortly before sunrise, of September 1st. Today was the day everyone was due back to Hogwarts.

Normally, Rose would be awake by now jumping around her bedroom with excitement for the second semester of her school year. Hogwarts was her favorite place to be; it was her home. 

But now she dreaded going back more than anything. Because that meant seeing Scorpius Malfoy again.

The thought of him was hard enough. But seeing him in person again would be painstakingly hard. Rose still didn't know how she managed to stay sane at school before Christmas break, while they were broken up. How could she be sure that she wouldn't fall apart again? 

I can't show him how much I'm hurting.

The more you bottle up your emotions, the more danger you're putting yourself and everyone else in, Rowena commented.

Rowena Ravenclaw had been pretty silent in Rose's mind throughout the whole breakup, so this was the first time Rose had heard from her old "friend" in a while. It was almost comforting. 

Then Rose thought about what Rowena just told her. The wise woman was right, yes. Rose had been keeping everything inside her so far, not talking to anyone about it. Any day now, she could snap. And that could be disastrous.

Rose sighed and continued packing, choosing to ignore the matter for now. She could barely think of Scorpius without losing control. How could she possibly share how she was feeling with someone?

* * *

"Even the Quibbler is talking about your father, Albus," said Holly, eagerly scanning the inside of the odd magazine. The two were sitting shoulder to shoulder in their own compartment aboard the Hogwarts Express. 

"I don't find that surprising," Albus muttered, his eyes landing on a discarded month-old Daily Prophet issue on the floor, the cover displaying Harry Potter's face. 

Holly's gaze followed Albus's to the Prophet issue. "Your father's been the talk of the wizarding world for weeks now."

Albus sighed. "Not that I'm not proud of him, but I'm just tired of everyone talking about it. I wish they'd give the man a break for once!"