Harry Potter: 19 Years Later

Chapter 55: Confessing To Rose

(A/N: Beware of a long, depressing author's note at the end of this chapter. Sorry, I just really need to vent...)

Words cannot describe how lousy Scorpius felt about himself right now.

He felt like the biggest prick ever.

And so when he walked into his and Albus's room and was greeted by a brutal smack upside the head by Holly, and got called an arse by her, he knew he deserved it.

Scorpius just wanted to know how the heck Albus and Holly knew what he did. Was it already spreading across Hogwarts like wildfire?

"I can explain," he assured his friends, swallowing hard. And so he did.

By the end of his explanation, his friends looked stunned. Scorpius prayed they would believe him.

"Oh, I knew you would never betray Rose like that!" Holly exclaimed.

"Holly, you just called me an arse a minute ago," Scorpius told her, chuckling.

"Oh yeah," said Holly, giggling. "Oops?"

The three friends laughed, which was a dramatic translation of emotions. Then, Scorpius ruined the mood when he remembered what he'd been asking himself. He asked his friends, "Hey, how did you guys know Natalia snogged me?"

Holly looked at Albus expectantly, making him sigh and confess, "I kinda saw the whole thing happen..."

Scorpius's eyes widened. "Kinda? Albus, why didn't you tell me beforehand? Did anyone else see it?" He was beginning to panic.

Albus held his hands up. "Scor, relax. I'm pretty sure I was the only other person in the locker room besides you and Natalia."

He better of been, thought Scorpius. But...what if Albus was wrong and someone else saw?

Then another thought occurred to Scorpius. He gave his best friend a disapproving look and said, "Wait, if you were in there...why didn't you walk in there and save me from getting harassed by Natalia? You could have prevented this mess!"

Albus tried to protest, but Holly beat him to it. "Scorpius, don't blame Albus for what happened," she scolded. "You're the one who should have pushed Natalia off of you. And according to the story, you didn't."

Scorpius felt a huge lump rise in his throat. Holly was right. He didn't push Natalia off of him. Instead, he just stood there frozen in place like an idiot and let the girl attack his lips with hers.

"Scor?" Albus said, snapping Scorpius out of his thoughts. His voice softened as he asked, "Why did you let Natalia snog you?"

Scorpius thought about it. And his reply was so horrible, it barely came out as a whisper, "Part of me wanted her to."

"What?" Holly said.

"Part of me wanted her to!" Scorpius snapped, anger for himself seeping into his mind.

Albus and Holly were silent. They were probably thinking of how terrible a person Scorpius was. He let another girl, who wasn't his girlfriend, snog him. He betrayed Rose. What was wrong with him?

"But...why?" Holly's soft voice implored.

Scorpius sat down on his bed and smothered his face into his hands, hot tears leaking from his eyes. The guilt was too much to bear.

Composing himself as best as he could to answer, Scorpius removed his hands off his face and muttered, "I guess a part of me wanted to see what it would be like to kiss a girl who wasn't Rose. The kiss happened so fast, I honestly didn't know how to handle it, so I let it happen. And that was the biggest mistake that I've ever made."