Let Me Love You.

Chapter 18~ Being Me

(AN: Hey guys can you please read the Author's note at the end?? pretty please. Thanx xx)

JORDI'S P.O.V

Its been ten minutes since Christian texted me back so I log off my computer and place it in its normal spot just under my bed. Once I placed my laptop under the bed I started to hear hear weird noises coming from Saritha's room as far as I remember she said that she was going to be alone to night so that she can study. As I hoped of my bed something hit the wall across the hall and it hit it from Saritha's side of the wall. 'That's weird I hope she is alright I'll just go check' I mumbled to my self as I made my way towards Saritha's door. I knocked on the door and waited for a response but I didn't get one I just heard scrambling around in the room.

'Um hey Jordi what are you doing?' Saritha said as she opened the door just enough for her to squeeze between the door and the door frame.

'I am wondering what you are doing you are making alot of noise' I said looking a her susspiciously.

'I'm not doing anything just studying that's all' she said obviously lying to me.

'Your right eye twitches when you lie' I pointed out noticing that her eye was twitching.

'No it dosent' She said covering her eye.

'I didn't know you needed Mitch to help you study' I said noticing Mitch in her mirror. 'Especially with his pants down aaround his ancle and only one sock on' I said looking at her smugly catching her out in a lie.

'U-u-um what are you talking about?' she said starting to blush.

'Mitch there is no need to blush' I said teasing the both of them. 'I'll just leave you two to get back to business' I said starting to back away slowly and laughing a bit. When I got back into my room I saw a very disturbing thing. Christian had his head on my pillow with his chest against the bed with his ass up in the air. Nice its always great to see someone ass just there and them not really caring or noticing that you are watching them. 'Nice ass Christian' I said obviously scaring him because he fell of the bed.

'Thanks its not as good as yours though' he said getting up of the floor and sitting back on the bed he patted the spot next to him indicating for me to come sit down next to him. I did what he wanted to and sat down next to him even though he was lying down. 'Whats wrong?' Christian asked kissing my shoulder as he started to lean on one elbow.

 'Its nothing I just hhh' I said sighing at the end to be honest I dont really know whats going on I an overthinking everything making sure I am going to be fine and that I wont get hurt again but am I reall overthinking or am I prodicting the future before it happens? Does Christian really love me or is he just saying that? How will I knowif he is lying? Am I really safe here? Did I make the right choice in agreeing to move here? And what is up with Beau why is he touching & hugging me so much? I guess I am just thinking to much because it will be exactly a year since Eb died tommorrow and I dont know what I am going to do. Well I know I will go visit her I always visit her when I am up here but tommorrow marks a date that I hoped I would never have to remember again or re-live.'I I just well I guess im just overthinking things thats all'

'You know you can tell me anything what are you overthinking?' Christian said sitting up crossing his legs and pulling me onto his lap.

'Do you really love me Christian?' I said looking into his dazzling brown orbs. I took him completely by surprise and I dont think he really knows how to answer that question. Does he even love me? No Jordi stop it your just being stupid. I shock my head and after about five minutes of Christian not answering I knew the answer he doesnt. 'I guess you dont' I said getting up off of his lap and walking towards the door. 'You can let yourself out I dont want to see you anymore' I said walking out of the door and closing it behind me. Since Mitch was here I couldnt really go into Saritha so I had two options ring Beau or go into Liam and then go to band practice with him. I decided to go into Liam and he could take me to band practice so I could talk to Rosie. 'Hey' I said grogilly when I got into Liam tears slowly falling down my face.