There were eyes...
Grey, blue, green, black....
But they were empty..
In the vast expanse of that city,
Every eye encountered was lifeless...
I had turned away from the fate
Entrusted to me, entitled as mine...
A name, and a status, in addition,
To the lover called fame...
I chose this life,
This mundane and slow, unexciting
Excuse for an existence,
In the same city, where I was
Once an uncrowned crown prince...
Stiff shirts and collars were replaced,
Slacks and leather shoes soiled,
I adorned shabby checked shirts,
And jeans faded beyond recognition...
From riches to rags I travelled....
I was once suffocated by the crowd around,
Fawning, adoring, admiring....
I chose, to be suffocated by this crowd now,
Suffocated, because they ignored my existence,
Because I was negligible here...
Suffocated, because I chose to be ignored...
There were eyes all around this city,
Panicked, guilt stricken, unassuming...
All in a hurry, not stopping long enough
To risk me a glance...
But they were all lifeless...
My eyes were lifeless once,
I controlled the crowd then,
And often let the crowd control me....
Now I am free..
Abandoned yet free...and my eyes,
They were alive...
I saw people now...I saw pain,
I watched days pass by,
I watched people lose their grasp,
On what matters, on the reason why
They slaved away for hours...
But I had a firm grip on life,
Because I let the current decide,'
My destination...
And I chose to smile today,
Rather than frown so as to smile tomorrow...
Because I was scared, maybe, I wouldn't be able to smile,
Fear and dark, cold, reality permanently etched into my eyes...
I have no reason so as to smile today,
But I believe, my choice is reason enough...
And I smile...because in this city,
Where lifeless eyes with fear and concern swarming,
My eyes, they come alive, with pleasure...
Pleasure, that I am aloof...
Pleasure, that I am not scared...
Pleasure, that I chose my pleasure...
My pleasure to smile today...
-A.N.
