Silence

Chapter 1 - The letter

Ryan P.O.V

In my house there is a family portrait over the fireplace. It's not that the people admired, but disturbs the idea of a family that only have daughters. My parents never cared. Well to be honest my mother really want a boy, but it bothers more people of outside. That's why my name is Ryan, my parents were hoping to have a baby boy for the first time, unfortunately, had another girl, but they kept the name. Nowadays, being born as a woman is a mistake, a nightmare. We are like slaves or maids.I'm lucky to have a house in that the 'Man of the Family' is against all these ideas of male superiority. However, the Government doesn't think in the same.

I never knew what happened to be honest,it is not allowed to a woman study history, but I know it must have been serious. My father always told me that there was a time when things were different, in that women were as men or more respected yet, but he never told me why things have changed so much.  Sometimes I like to sit in front of the fireplace, wondering what really happened. I wonder what we did of so monstrous to now don't have a voice in the simplest decisions, such as what we use on our body and with who we marry.

Today  is my 21º birthday. I know that i'm going to get a letter that says my name and I know that it is my duty to open it and go to the house that I indicate. Is the house where I will find my future husband... Oh God, even thinking about it is awful in my opinion. But it's not an option, if not my family will be dishonored and I probably will be taken for not fulfilling the ideals presented by the Government.

I'm sitting in front of the fire when I heard the sound of the door opening, I looked and saw my father bringing in one of his hands the gold envelope ... but it wasn't supposed to be gold...

"I know I'm probably wrong, but ... the envelope should not be Silver?" I say looking at him, confused by such a situation. Typically, only the boys receive gold envelopes to introduce themselves at the Military Academy. 

"I know Ryan, but apparently they think you're a boy", he says looking at me with his blue eyes and then looked at the envelope "I think there was some error on your papers. But you reallyy want me to fix it? " He whispers to me giving a slight smile. How can he smile? If I did something like that I would be dead in the next morning.

"Dad, I can't pretend to be a boy, if they caught me they would send me to jail or something much worse. " I said releasing a sigh, I'm not that brave, no one is. I would like to be, but I know it's going to be impossible, and part of me doesn't want to believe that he is propose something like that. I start to walk around the room while he watches me closely.  How can he be so calm right now?

"Think about it Ryan ... You can do this, you have always being kind of a tomboy "He says " I know you could if you wanted, I believe in you "

He left the room, walking into the kitchen, where my mother was making the dinner. How can he propose something like that and just leave the room like that!?

I would love to be able to simply accept, however in the reall world I could not deceive people, my face is too thin and flimsy to make them think that I'm a boy, and to not talk about the fact that I'm extremely low compared to normal height guys from my town.  It would be suicide if I agreed to go there, but it's a risk I might be desperate enough to run.

I went to my bedroom, getting lying in bed staring at the ceiling. I need to sleep, I need to think about what I'm going to do tomorrow morning. If I'm going to wake up and go to the main building of city administration to correct the mistake or if I'm going to get my hair cut and introduce myself as Ryan Morgan at the Military Academy...

I just closed my eyes, falling asleep. I woke up this morning, quite early, and went to the bathroom looking at my reflection. For a moment he seems to look to me coldly saying ' you can make a difference ' but the other part look at me saying ' don't be stupid to the point of destroying your entire life for so little chance of success '. What the hell am I going to do? I'm a coward.... But what is the point of living when our hands are bound and our voices silent?

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