"He did what!!" I screeched from the top of my lungs how can someone do something like that. That's horrible and beca had to take it. She was defenceless and I wasn't there for her. I should've been there for her, to help her.
"Chloe, shhh, people will here you please don't tell anyone not even aubery." She pleads. She needs to tell someone he can't just get away with this and if she won't do anything I definitely will. I won't tell anyone but I'll have a little "word" with Jesse.
"Beca you need to tell someone." I say filled with worry and concern I can feel my eyes starting to well up.
"I told you, I've put my trust in you please don't tell anyone, I don't want them to know." I really don't like seeing her like this? It hurts so much. I broke up with tom the other day it turns out he was cheating on me with baloni barb. I mean what's he even see In her. When I found out I was heartbroken.
"Okay bec but tell me one thing." I say
"Yes of course anything,"
"Where do you and Jesse stand? Now that he's you know," my voice gets quieter " raped you." I waited and waited for a response but there was none, until eventually she looks down too the floor and responds with
"I... I don't know." I grab her chin and look into the murky depths of her eyes. All the pain inside of them was just heartbreaking. They're like giant black pearls on her beautiful face.
We were just staring into each others eyes and I started to talk but I can tell she wasn't listening then I do something extraordinary I then lean in. Oh my God is this actually going to happen, oh my God. I lean in closer then Becca leans in a little too! I kiss her and then nuzzle my nose against hers. Then beca kisses me back! Then i kiss her again. Then within 30 seconds. we are making out on her bed. I'm holding her by her tiny, slim,little waist and pull her closer with each kiss, whilst she tangles her hand into my hair. Her lips are so soft and smooth like a cloud, I never want this moment to end. She smells of dirt and tastes of it but that is from no fault of her own so I just carry on enjoying the moment. Ugh the things she does to me.I was so turned on but then my phone buzzes
"Leave it," beca says through kisses I could tell she was enjoying this, just as much as me maybe even more. Should, I tell her how I feel. No, if Jesse finds out hell just hurt her even more.
"What if it's important," I reply through kisses.
"It won't be."
"Okay." She says and then I start to kiss her neck, I never wanted her more. I wanted her more and more by the second . I didn't know how to control these feelings. I've never had them this strong before, for anyone! I knew that at some point I made a mistake but its as if something else had overpowered me. I slowly start making my way to her collar bone. She was actually letting me do this. I was so in love with her at that moment . I wanted to stop and show her that I respected her but I just couldn't and then something bad happened.....
I went back up to her lips and, with every ounce of strength and passion in me, I passionately kissed her. Them beca did the same, did she really feel this way or was she just vulnerable. However the next thing I did I immediately regretted. I then grabbed her by the waist and started to lay her down, shit Chloe stop, but no matter how much I tried to I couldnt stop this and then beca said
"Dude, no"
"Oh my God." I said "I don't know what came over me, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." I then walked out whilst mumbling behind me "I'm so so sorry over and over." I heard beca run over to the door and call after me
"Chloe wait, stop." But I couldn't, I wouldn't . how could I have been so stupid. I then started to pick up my pace and ru ntears straining down my face and then I bumped into.... Tom.
"Hey princess what's the matter?" He asked
"Fuck off tom," I say rather rudely.
"Woah, woah what's happened?" He asked and without thinking I just kissed him and he kissed me back. Damn pig does he have no respect. I couldn't believe I was doing this, it didn't feel right he wasn't beca. The next thing I knew I was in his room and two minutes later I was sliding my trousers back on and sorting my hair out. I was about to leave but tom came over and kissed me, I didn't kiss him back. Then he asked
"So where does that leave you and me are we back together?"
"No tom, we're not this meant nothing, you mean nothing to me." I say rather rudely using hand gestures throughout the sentence.
"Come on babe you know you liked it and you could-"
"No tom," I interrupted "you cheated on me and I don't think I can ever forgive you for that," and then I walked out the door and he called down after me
" babe please, I made a mistake, I'm sorry." I called back
"Don't you ever call me babe." Then I ran to my room.
My room was empty, so I shoved my trackies and hoody on and went into the bathroom. I took a shower got changed and then looked in the mirror, I then looked to the right of me where I saw a razor blade. I hesitated before finally picking it up. I could finally make all the pain go, be the happy Chloe again. So with tears streaming down my face, I did what I had done many times before, I cut the top of my thighs and top of my arms. I just sat there with blood pouring out of me.
