Youngjae would never admit this outloud, but he really loved it when Daehyun sang to him. Even since they were just trainees, when they started rooming together and no one else would be around besides Daehyun and him, he would go sit next to the older male and ask him to sing a little.</p>
Although he would admit that sometimes he was a little jealous of the other, he couldn’t deny how beautiful the other’s voice is. It was so strong, but at the same time it was soothing. When Youngjae would have trouble sleeping, he would just sneak into the other’s bed and wake him up and ask him to sing a little. At first, it peeved off Daehyun (considering the amount of sleep they got) but eventually it became somewhat of a routine. Youngjae wouldn’t even have to voice his request eventually. When they were alone, Daehyun would start to sing, and he would watch as a small content smile spread on Youngjae’s lips.
But something bothered Youngjae. When they were younger and started training together, Youngjae just labeled his admiration of the older male as hero worship. He wanted to be as great a singer as Daehyun, anyone would. It was normal to love his voice that much. At least, that’s what Youngjae told himself.
But when he started to admire other things about Daehyun, that’s when Youngjae started to get a little worried. Like the way he admired how lean the other was, or how handsome he was starting to get, or the way his lips moved as he sang… And not to mention, Youngjae’s hormones weren’t exactly helping him decipher his feelings, especially when they would be changing in a room together and he would watch as Daehyun would peel his sweat soaked shirt off, revealing pale white skin-
You get the idea.
Even now as Youngjae had trouble sleeping, he tried to stop himself from climbing out of his bed and sneaking under the covers of the other’s bed. In the place they were staying in now, they had three rooms. Zelo and Jongup shared a room, Himchan and Yongguk shared a room, and he and Daehyun shared a room. This setup didn’t really do anything to help Youngjae’s confused feelings. He tried to switch with Himchan, but when Daehyun walked in the room and saw him practically begging Himchan to switch, the sad look in his eyes practically killed him.
He turned on his side, his eyes shut tight in vain, trying to force himself to sleep. After a few more minutes of tossing and turning, he resigned himself to not being able to sleep, because god knows what would happen if he climbed into Daehyun’s bed. He was starting to lose his self-control, and he was pretty sure he would do something that he would regret very much in the morning-
“AAH!”
“Shh, do you want to wake up the others?”
Youngjae stared wide-eyed at the other as tried to calm down his racing heartbeat. When Daehyun was sure the other wasn’t going to yell again, he removed his hand from the other’s mouth.
“Daehyun-hyung, w-when did you sneak next to me?”
“About 5 minutes ago. You kept moving around; you were so noisy, so I thought you were having a nightmare. I was going to wake you up, but you already were awake, so I just stayed here until you would open your eyes.”
“How’d you know I wasn’t actually sleeping?”
“You usually don’t move that much when you’re asleep, and you drool, no matter what. You also usually have this slight flush on your cheeks when you’re asleep.”
Youngjae blushed at the statement. He didn’t realize that he drooled when he slept, and he didn’t realize Daehyun paid so much attention to him when he slept… it made him feel warm on the inside.
“So if you knew I wasn’t having a nightmare, why didn’t you just go back to your own bed?”
“Because, I have to sing to you.”
Youngjae felt his eyes widen. After all their years of their little ritual, Daehyun never voiced that he wanted to sing to the younger male to help him sleep. Sure, he eventually started to do it automatically when they were both alone and awake, but Youngjae would always be the one to go to Daehyun’s bed.
“W-what-“
“You haven’t come to me in a while, I was getting lonely. You used to go to me at least twice a week before.”
Youngjae was still in shock so he let his jaw hang and waited for Daehyun to continue.
“Why have you been avoiding me, Youngjae-ah? I saw how much you wanted to switch with Himchan-hyung.”
Youngjae winced at the words. It’s not that he didn’t want to be near the other, it’s just that he wanted to be too close to the other, so much more closer that it was dangerous.
“I’m not…”
“Please don’t lie to me.”
Youngjae couldn’t look the other in the eyes. What would he say? That he wanted to feel the other hug him tightly, that he wanted the other to kiss him like couples do, that he wasn’t even sure of his own sexuality anymore because of him?
He felt the other touched his cheek and looked up to the other, blushing at the small touch. He saw the other’s face was flushed too, but is eyes were sad.
“Talk to me. If you don’t, it feels like you don’t need me, and it breaks my heart.**”
Youngjae wanted to tell him everything, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t wreck everything they were working for just because he had a crush on his hyung. Instead just rested his head on Daehyun’s chest. relishing the sound of the other’s heartbeat.
Everthing about you sounds nice… even this…
He tensed, but then relaxed as the other’s arms wrapped around him. He wanted to stay in this position forever, but it killed him knowing that Daehyun was doing this because he was Youngjae’s hyung, that Daehyun was doing this because he cared for Youngjae as a brother would.
“Hey now, no tears, okay? No need to feel so sad. I won’t push it, but when you’re ready, please tell me what’s bothering you so much.”
Youngjae didn’t even realize he was crying. He just nodded and continued to cling to Daehyun.
Daehyun began to sing some soft lullaby that Youngjae didn’t know. But it sounded nice, but sad. He wanted to tell Daehyun everything, but he couldn’t do it. Not yet.
“Thanks, Daehyun-hyung…” Youngjae soon drifted off into a deep sleep, still clinging tightly onto Daehyun.
Daehyun stopped singing when he was sure the other was asleep. He petted the other’s soft hair and smiled sadly, a few tears staining his own cheeks.
“I love you…so much more than you can ever know…” He pressed a soft kiss on the other’s lips, that same kiss he always gave the other after singing him to sleep.
