The Best Of The Worst

CHAPTER 14

EMMA

Emma always enjoyed making lists. Every time she did something interesting, she'd make a list about what she enjoyed, what she didn't expect, etc. 

But this list was different. 

She was listing what she loved about Katie. 

Normally she wrote them down, but this one stayed in her head. 

Her smile, she started. Her hair, her book-addiction even. Her cute braces, her eyebrows, the rings in her hair. Her adorable acne, that little laugh, the way she looks out for her brother...

The list would've been longer if the person it was about hadn't smiled at her dorkily and asked "I wouldn't be able to read again, would I?" 

"I think we're all just about done. So... Could we head back to camp? Is that all right with you guys?" Emma asked, taking her hand. 

"Of course you can." Piper replied, and so they packed their stuff up and left. 

"I love you, Katie." Emma said on the way back to camp. 

"Sure you do." Katie grumbled sarcastically. 

"Katie." Emma stopped and grabbed her girlfriends shoulders, making her face the sweet, deep brown eyes and wanting her to look into them. "I love you with my heart and soul. I love every fibre in your body. I. Love. You. I wish you could say the same about yourself." 

Katie struggled her shoulder free and kept walking to her cabin. 

Emma didn't bother to catch up. She was thinking about the first thing her brother had said when she told him about Katie. "Doesn't that make you gay, though? I thought you were ace!" he told her. Ever since, whenever she came out as asexual to anyone her knew about her girlfriend, she found it hard to not have them get confused. They didn't seem to understand that just because she doesn't feel sexual attraction doesn't mean she doesn't feel romantic attraction. She just isn't in a sexual relationship. 

"It's hard." she whispered, only just loud enough to let Katie hear and make her stop. "It's hard to love someone more than they love themself. Especially when you're abused, verbally, emotionally and physically, because people don't think you can love them. Because people think that heterosexual heteroromantic is the only acceptable orientation. Katie, I love you. And it takes bravery to say that." 

Katie stopped too. "Emma... I love you too, don't get me wrong. I just... I don't see what you see in me. I'm fat. I'm ugly. I'm a bitch. I'm over-all hatable."

"No, you're not any of those, so don't think you are." Emma said softly, walking up and wrapping an arm around her shoulder. Together, they walked to Hades cabin. Nico went to the infirmary, so they had the place to themselves. 

When they got to the big black building, Emma helped Katie lie down in her bed. She kissed her forehead and stroked her hair, smiling as she drifted off to sleep from a new spell the daughter of Hecate had learnt recently to help Katie's insomnia. Listening to her girlfriend snoring faintly, Emma made a list. A list of times she wanted to marry her, then and there. 

She started singing quietly to her snoozing girlfriend as she lay next to her. 

"We were only kids we ran like water. Your mum said "stay away from my daughter." The sun was coming down when I said "can't you just believe?" And if you wait for me, I'll be the light in the dark if you lose your way. And if you wait for me, I'll be your voice when you don't know what to say. I'll be your shelter I'll be your fate, I'll be forever, wait for me. I'll be the last train, I'll be the last train home. We were a storm, it blew us away. I wouldn't leave you, but you couldn't stay. We were only kids we ran like water. Your mum said "stay away from my daughter". The sun was coming down when I said "Can't you just believe?" And if you wait for me... We were only kids we ran like water. I told your mum "I love your daughter!" The sun was coming down when I said "Katie, just believe.""

Her eyes were sprayed with tears that the song brought. 

Katie's mum, Nicole, was majorly homophobic, to the point of which she believed that queers won't exist if you "treat" them. It was actually more of a punishment... She would be grounded for two weeks every time she said anything even remotely romantic or flirtatious to or about someone of the female sex. But then... Then she got a girlfriend. They were 'just friends' at first, pretending that they were hanging out, not going on dates. But one night, it was too much. They had to say it. They couldn't keep it in for longer.

They slowly made hints; Emma mentioned her 'crush', but was really making someone up. She mostly described gender-neutral things, and only used pronouns once or twice. But it still wasn't anywhere near enough. 

Then she started mentioning ex-girlfriends. But when she did, Nicole got angry. "What kind of a woman are you?" she'd exclaimed, even though she was only 13. "Dating other women is a disgrace! Stay away from my daughter!"

The song "Last Train Home" hit really hard. It was only 5 months ago that she'd yelled "I LOVE HER!" and run away, holding hands with her no-longer-secret-girlfriend. 

She lay next to the girl she sprinted that distance with, crying. 

"And if you wait for me... Hold on to love and wait for me. I'll be the last train, I'll be your last train home."