Two weeks into college
TOBIN'S POV
The lack of communication Alex and I have is too much. The last time I talked to her was about a week ago and it just seems like she's been ignoring my calls and text messages. I know she left for college last week, but she told me she'll call me when she lands. But she hasn't, which for some reason it makes me upset. I know I'm drifting away from her and it just makes me frustrated that she isn't trying any harder then I am. I have been able to talk to Lauren and Amy at least three times a week, and if it's just three times I'm still very fortunate to be able to talk to them. But I call Alex every single day, and I haven't missed a day and I just don't understand why she won't respond. The thought of losing my best friend tears me up inside and literally makes me feel sick to my stomach. I've told Lauren and Amy about what I'm going through with Alex and they keep telling me the same thing. To give her some time because maybe she misses me just as much as I miss her. I try to believe that but at this point I'm not so sure what to believe. Maybe the promises we have made to each other when I left aren't worth keeping. Maybe she's learning to live life without me by her side. Maybe she found other friends who are much better then I am. Maybe she's given up on me. All these thoughts flow through my mind on a daily basis, and it makes me miss Alex even more. I thought that she meant what she said when I left for college, when she said that we'll always keep in touch. But I don't know anymore. Whenever Lauren or Amy call me, they always ask, "how are you?" And I'm not sure how to answer. It's always an "I'm fine." But am I really?
Another then the fact that Alex is ignoring me, I've gotten pretty close with Christen these last couple weeks. Soccer training has been pretty good for the most part but it's just different. I mean I work well with everyone, but not the way I played with Alex. We had a connection like no one else. Christen is fun to play with, she's smart on the field and I don't mind playing with her. College has been a fun experience especially here in North Carolina. I'm surprised how nicely I fit in here, everyone is super nice and we don't have people like the "old Melissa." We all treat each other equally and I guess that is one of the reasons why I like it here.
Tryouts for the college soccer team is in three days and I am so confident that I'll make the team. Sometimes the thought of it does make me feel sick to my stomach, but I'm excited for what the next couple days will hold. After classes today I met up with Christen outside of the soccer field, because it's where we always meet up. "Hey Tobs!" Christen says as she pulls me in for a hug like she always does. "What's up!"
"I'm just tired." I say as I scratch the back of my neck.
"When are you not tired?" Christen teases me.
"I think I'm always tired no matter how much sleep I get." I say back with a small laugh.
"True." Christen says as she laughs along with me. "So what do you want to do? Go down to the beach, go to the city, go bowling, you name it!"
"I think I'm just going to hang out in the dorm." I say quietly.
Christen frowns at me and looks at me with concern in her eyes. "You've been doing that every day now, something's up.
"Fine, we can go to the beach." I say, trying to avoid eye contact with her.
"Stop stalling, we need to talk." Christen says as she swings her bag over her shoulders and grabs my hand, and drags me to our dorm.
"What's wrong Tobin?" Christen asks when we finally get to our dorm.
"I just miss everyone." I say as I sit on my bed across from Christen.
"Really? Is that really what's been making you act like a lazy princess, who thinks going to the bathroom is to much work?" Christen says.
"I miss Alex okay. She hasn't answered any of my damn calls and she won't even reply to my text messages! I'm upset and I miss her and none of that makes any sense!" I yell and when I realized that I had just yelled at Christen I quickly look away from her, and bury my head into my hands.
