Awake. (A Harry Styles Fanfiction)

I Still Love You. I Think.

Harry's P.O.V.

I still can't believe she is better. Well, She is still weak.

But awake.

"Just make yourself comfortable I suppose." I yell to the living room, as i walk to put her things away in our room.

"Nah I'm alright right now. Thanks." She says quietly as she looks around, as though trying to memorize everything in the room.

I want her to remember so bad.

To remember what we had. Everything that we did. Our first date. Our first kiss. The day we moved in together. The days when we would run around the park down the road from our apartment. When I would sing her back to sleep everytime she had a nightmare.

But she won't. Probably ever.

I sigh as I finish putting her things away and walk to the living room to sit next to her.

"Do you like it?" I put a big grin on my face and look at her.

"Yeah, it's really cool actually. The view from up here is amazing." She says, smiling and pointing to the large window on the other side of the room.

Wow. She looks so beautiful. It's so weird to say, but right here and right now, she looks amazing. She hasn't got any makeup on, her hair is natural and wavy, and her eyes are all crinkled at the sides, making her look extra happy.

She turns around to look at me again, "Something wrong?"

"Oh. N-no I just...Nevermind" I mumbled, looking down to hide the blush forming on my face.

"Harry you're blushing." she states, laughing lightly.

I love her laugh.

"No I'm not. I just um...accidentally hit myself?"

"Okay Haz. Whatever you say." She smiles and looks at me.

She always calls me Haz.

always.

That means she remembers.  

Well obviously not everything but still.

Its a start.

"Haz. You used to call me that all the time!" I look up and grin.

Just as she opens her mouth to answer and loud grumble comes from her stomach.

"Someone is hungry!" I chuckle, standing up and walking over to the kitchen.

"What do you want to eat Len?"

"Pizza sounds really good right now."

************

"Wow this is really good." Lennox says in between massive bites of her pepperoni covered pizza.

I nod and silently chuckle at her, finishing my pizza.

"Man you would think you haven't eaten in 3 weeks or something." I smirk at her.

"Man, you would think tha-no." She mocks, still chewing her piece.

I stand up and put the trash away and wall back, sitting next to her, not too close though...I hope she doesn't think I'm weird.

Oh God what if she thinks I'm weird. 

Damnit Harry, grow some balls. Stop acting like a girl. But really, what if she she doesn't.

Whatever.

She will.

"Harry?" She asks, breaking the silence in the small living room.

"What is it Len?"

"What happened to me? Why was I in a coma?"

Shit.

Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit.

I was waiting for this question. I just hoped she wouldn't wonder much.

Shit.

"Um, " I say as I look down, tracing my index finger along the hem of my shorts, "it was my fault."

"What?"

"I-I was drunk...We were at a party and you told me not to drive but I didn't listen-n...We hit a pole. Thankfully I wasn't hurt but y-you hit your head."

Dammit, a tear... its about to fall. 

Cmon Harry, grow a pair. Man up.

Nope, it isn't going to happen.

I am seriously about to cry in front of my girlfriend.

"But I'm alive aren't I?" I hear her say softly as she sets one of her hands on my arm.

"But it was my fault in the first place...I was so worried. I thought you were dead. And it would have been because of me." I trail off, feeling a single wet tear glide down my cheek.

"But I didn't die. I am still here Harry. And I still love you- I think." she stops to think, pursing her lips.

I simply nod. That is true.  

She is still alive and with me.

And she still loves me. She thinks.

I wrap my arms around her and hug her "I'm so sorry Lennox."

"Its fi-" She is interuppted again mid sentence as she yawns.

"Tired babe?" I laugh quietly in the crook of her neck.

"A bit. Can we go to bed Haz? It has been a long day." She tells me, rubbing her eyes.

"Yeah babe of course" I say, picking her up and carrying her over to our bed and setting her down.

"Want to change into some night clothes len?" I ask her, walking over to the dresser.

"Just a T-shirt I supose. And I could have walked." she mutters.

I throw her an old t-shirt of mine and walk over to the other side of the bed, pulling my shirt over my head and then pulling my shorts off.

"Well I wanted to carry you. Also, I can sleep in the living room if you aren't comfortable with me in here." I ask her after she folded her clothes and set them on the floor ever so neatly and slipped the shirt over her head.

"No I want you to stay with me Harry. Don't leave."

"alright I will stay. I must warn you, Im a cuddler though." I laugh as I walk over and turn the light off, then crawl under the covers.

"Good because I am too." she laughs back.

I scoot closer and wrap my arms around her, pulling her as close as I can.

I don't want to lose her.

ever.

"Goodnight Haz." She mumbles, cuddling up to me and closing her eyes. 

 "Night."

I'm so glad to have her back.

Forever now, I hope.

"I love you Len." I mumble as I lightly kiss her forehead.

"mhmm. you too." She mumbles, clearly half asleep.

I smile and close my eyes drifting off too sleep.

Sleep.

Something I haven't had in a while.

Im so glad to have her back. I am never going to stop saying that.

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no one even reads this story so why do I update.