The Perks of Being a Wintergirl

Love Bleeds Red

After dropping Miranda off, she headed home. 

She smiled as she powerd on her laptop.

"Hey babe." Niall greeted her, smiling from ear to ear. "How was dance?"

"Hi." She beamed. "It was good. Relax-" She was cut off by her stepmom screaming at her. This was so embarrasing. Niall didnt know about her home life drama bc she only skyped when her dad and his second wife aka Vivian aka The Queen Bitch, were out, but she had been so excited to talk to her bestfriend that she forgot to wait til they were in bed. 

"ALISON!!!!" The Queen barked from down the stairs. 

She motioned with her pointer finger for Niall to give her a minute. This was embarrassing.

"What?!!" She shouted back. 

Now there was a knock at the door and Alison was so upset that she forgot Niall was waiting for her on Skype.

"Open the damn door!! NOW!!" The Queen barked.

"Wha- ooww! That hurts! Let go!" Alison yelped.

"You need to get down here and clean the kitched and living room. Your sister is having friends over and this house is a mess!" She demanded, slamming the door behind her.

And here it came. The floodgates opened and down came the rain.

"Ali?" Niall called out, concerned. 

She snapped her focus back. Niall was on Skype. He'd heard it all. All the yelling. She dashed back to her laptop. 

"Are you ok?" He said worriedly. His eyes looked sad and on the verge of tears himself.

Poor Alison, nothing could stop the waterfalls that fell from her eyes.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." She said, after a few moments. Collecting herself. Drying her eyes.

"Is she always that mean to you?" Niall asked, his voice angry.

Alison nodded. Afraid that saying it out loud would make it real. Nodding was safe. It didnt hurt like words did. 

"I wont let you spend one minute alone when I come home." he told her. "I don't like how she yells at you. Please, don't cry. Ill be there soon. Meet me at the airport when we land, my mum cant make it, and I want your face to be the first I see, plus I really want you to meet Harry."

"I'll be there. What time?" She would not miss this for anything.

"8 am. I'll let you go for now so you can clean up. I dont want to give that bitch another reason to yell at you." He swore. "I love you. . Do not let her bring you down. I cant wait to see your beautiful face on Saturday."

"OK. Love you. See you Saturday." She ended the call and went down to the kitchen to clean. Making sure she did a thorough job so that everthing was perfect. She definitely did not want to get screamed at again. Once she was done she headed upstairs. As she took the last step at the top, her stepmum snatched her up by her arm and slapping her hard in the face. So hard that had she not been gripping her arm, Alison would have hit the wall.

"If you ever, EVER, sass me like that again. I'll have your dad cancel your dance lessons." Vivian glared at her, her eyes wide with rage.

She shook free from her stepmum's hateful grasp and ran to her room.

"She said she would have dad cancel dance.." She sobbed to Miranda on the phone, "I'll die if she does that. She could call me all the name she can think of, even make me her personal Cinderella and NONE of that would hurt as bad as taking my dance lessons away from me."

"Breathe, Ali. Breathe. It's ok." her friend soothed over the line. "Lie down, try to sleep. I'll ask mum to let me drive her to work and I'll come collect you in the morning for school. Be ready at twenty after."

"Ok. Thanks." she said, calming down a little.

She hung up with her friend and tried to relax. 

Laughter came from downstairs, her sister and her friends we having a grand time. Her stepmum was watching tv in the living room. 

Alison decided to put on some music and do her schoolwork. Not 5 minutes later, her dad came knocking at her door.

"Turn it down!!" He shouted, stomping off.

She did as she was aked. Finally, the girl that was always strong, always held it all in, cracked. It came in waves. Heavy, silent sobbs that caused her whole body to shake while tears came crashing down like waterfalls. She was empty, alone. She knew what was coming and she couldnt stop it. Couldnt fight it. She was on auto pilot now. She was a robot. The silent voices that told her she was worthless, that she was no good. *ughly, fat bitch* it told her *no one loves you* it spat at her. She felt dizzy as she reached for her blades. *There you go, that a girl.. Now go to the bath so no one sees the mess you're about to make* it told her, and she obeyed.

She stood in the shower, stripped, dragging the razor across her right thigh up at the top, over and over until she had made at least 15 cuts from side to side. She felt the burden on her heart lift a fraction as the blood ran down her leg, spilling drops like crimson rain at her feet. She repeated this on her left thigh.

*how about those wrists* the voice taunted *just cover them with bracelets* it said, and she obeyed.

The razor danced across her left wrist. Once for her parents divorce, once for her step sister always treating her like shit, two more times for her stepmum and another for her dad never sticking up for her. She paused for a moment when she heard footsteps down the hall so she hurried to turn on the shower. 

*More* It commanded *Remember, your worthless* 

The water from the shower stung at the cuts on her thighs.

*DO IT*  the voice shouted, and again, she obeyed.

Twice more on her left, one for being worthless, and the second for being alive.

*look at you, your disgusting* The voice laughed *Now the other wrist* It demanded and she did as she was told.

Seven times on the right, same as the left.

*Good girl, now clean yourself up you disgusting fat bitch*  the voice commanded.

She showered, covered up her cuts and went to bed. As bad as she wanted to, she couldn't even cry. She was exhausted, mentally, physically and emotionally.

How was she going to make it thru the day at school??