The Perks of Being a Wintergirl

Will You Catch Me When I Fall?

The next few days at the hospital were a blur to her, all the counselors asking her if she was ok. How did this make her feel, how did that make her feel. Tell me about your life, they asked. Truth is, she wasn't ready for al this, and she knew all the right things to say to pacify them. There was no way that they could even begin to understand anything about her and she wasn't about to tell them anything. They would have her commited.

Her dad came to pick her up when she was released because he was her legal guardian. Neither one of them spoke a word to each other the entire ride back to the house. And she wondered how long it would take for things to go back to the way they were, where everyone treated her like shit. She went up to her room and shut the door. Gathering a change of clothes to take a shower.

She carefully made her way to her bathroom, her hand shaking as she turned the knob. Her stomach started knotting up and she withrew her hand from the knob. She waited a few moments to try again. She was nervous, afraid of seeing that mirror again. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she opened the door and set her stuff on the counter. Turning on the water, she stepped in, the water felt hot and relaxing on her neck and shoulders. She was extra careful with the bandages, the nurse told her she could take them off when she got home if she wanted. She really just wanted to pretend none of this had happend and hoped that no one at school knew why she'd been absent for almost 2 weeks. 

When she was done showering, she wraped the towel around her long brown hair and put some lotion on before getting dressed and heading back to her room. Setting down on her bed, she pulled her knees up to her chest. Was she even ready to look at her arms? She had been cutting for years, but never once had she ever tried actually slitting her wrists before. She took a deep breath in, counted to ten and slowly began to peel back the bandages, as soon as she saw the first stitch, she stopped, her breath catching. She dediced to just suck it up and finish removing it, closing her eyes tight, she pulled the the rest of the bandage off, not daring to look just yet. She repeated this with her other wrist, and after a few moments, she finally had the courage to look down.

They were each about 4 inches long. She'd even done it the right way which surprised her seeing as she was completely wasted when she'd done it. They looked rather awful. There was no way people were going to miss these... she needed more bracelets. Laying back on her bed, she put her headphones in and the song 'If I Die Young' was playing.

--A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar..They're worth so much more after I'm a goner--

***Meanwhile the lads tour was ending and they were flying home***

Harry pulled the hood to his hoodie up over his beanie and rested his head on against the airplane window, he was ready to go home.

Niall sat down next to him. "You ok, mate?" 

"I've got a headache." Harry frowned. "How about you...I meant like are you ok after your 'talk' with management. Zayn told me they were really angry with you."

"Yeah. They were not pleased with me at all. I've basically been officially grounded." He informed his curly haired friend.

"Grounded??" Harry questioned, his face showing his confusion as he grabbed a handfull of pretzel mini's and tossed them into his mouth. 

"Yeah they told me that I'm not go out traipsing about as I please and that I have to call them and tell them when I want tp leave and where I plan on going."

"For how long?! That's fucking ridiculous!!" Harry quipped, practically spitting his food everywhere.

"Until they say different I suppose. It really pisses me off because I'm not a child. I should be able to come and go as I please and not have to answer to them but, I don't really have much of a choice."