Here I was at my college's swimming pool all alone after everyone left I have the whole place to myself. If I don't do this now I never will. I put my camera down along with the keys I had that allowed me in here, I slowly and cautiously peeled off my clothes so that I was left in a full piece swim suit.
I stood there contemplating whether this was actually a good idea, I went against the ideas in my telling me to run away go into fight or flight mode. My parents always told me that to face your fears you had to jump into the deep end.
I inched closer to the water looking around checking again and again to see for certain that I was alone. I was. I had made sure no one was here; the pool closed 2 hours ago. I made sure to use the indoor pool so nobody had the chance to see or hear me.
I sat down on the edge of the pool dipping my feet in the cool water. To anyone else the water would've felt refreshing but to me it felt light a glutinous cool liquid was trying to take control of my body, wavering up my tense legs. My mind could be cruel.
Its now or never Kota.
I thought that the best way to face my fear was to jump into the deep end, literally.
Taking another look around you can never be to sure, especially when you also have the feeling somebody is watching you; lurking in the distance, trying to get dirt on you to ruin your entire life. I guess you could say I was a little paranoid.
I took a deep breath and exhaled sharply preparing myself for the worst happen. I begin to slip my body tenderly into the water sucking in my stomach to avoid the unpleasant coolness of it all. My arms were aching like I just did a hundred push ups from sliding into the water slowly.
My whole body was in the water now. I was up to my neck in the strong chemical smelling liquid that made it more difficult to breath more than my already fast paced short breaths. The toxic smell was heavy in my lungs, but my mind always made me think things were far worse then they actually were when I panicked.
I could hear my heart beating rapidly, it was the only sound. I think if anyone else were hear they would presumably hear it. I clung to the side of the pool like a piece of plastic wrap.
I think i've been here for hours but no doubt was only a few minutes; the fear in my mind making time slow down. The big digital clock on the wall telling me it was 9:22, I had only been here 20 minutes.
My arms gave in I could barely hold on anymore. I couldn't touch the bottom of the pool me being a skinny girl at just 5'3.
Okay come on Kota you've got to do this now
Then I let go of the edge. As expected the worst came I couldn't do it; I couldn't swim. I couldn't do it to save my life. I tried to swim by moving my arms and legs but I only sunk deeper beneath the water. I couldn't breath, I couldn't call for help even if I could no one would hear me. I was stuck in the moment. The adrenaline blocked my fear. All I could think was this is happening, I'm drowning, I'm going to die. My vision was blurry in the water. All I could see was the ripples of the surface. I couldn't move I was stuck; frozen in place. Who could stop fate? No one.
I don't think even if anyone were here I wouldn't be rescued. On Monday they would find my lifeless body at the hovering at the bottom of the pool still after distress. It was a reflex, I inhaled the water into my lungs trying to cough it up.
Right before I saw my life flash before my eyes I felt someone's firm hold on my waist and under my knees. I should of felt the cold air on my skin as I was carried out of the water. I couldn't breath, I couldn't open my eyes, I couldn't move. I was completely numb.
