The Fire Within (Ongoing)

Binding Desires

Stirring from the deep sleep, I found myself wrapped protectively in Gabriel's arms. It feels like he is shielding me from the terrors of the world. The delicious heat of his body was seeping into my body, and I felt myself melting further in his arms. In this very moment with him on the bed, I felt utterly safe and wish this moment never ended. Adjusting myself under his weight, a twinge of pain pinched my arms, and when I looked closer, I saw my arms were filled with angry bruises. It didn't just stop at my arms; even the chest area of mine has his teeth marks. Damn! This man right beside me, who is sound asleep, really enjoys marking his woman like I am his property. It was confirmed last night when we had rough yet passionate sex. I was shown no mercy by Gabriel, and it was the first time I felt completely satisfied and weirdly submissive under his command.

But then a dark wave of sadness took over me, and for the first time I could feel my heart breaking slowly. I am now struggling to breathe as several memories are like a horror movie playing in my mind. It took one snap of a finger to break the fragile glass of serenity. The contract. That damn contract, which Gabriel, in my most vulnerable moment, forced me to sign on those fucking papers. I slightly turn my face to glance at his angelic face, which hides his devilishness. He is a reminder that I am locked in iron shackles, bound to him for five long years. Is it possible that one person be so cruel and merciless? I am unable to comprehend my importance in his life. If he feels so deeply for me, then why is he enforcing the contract on me?

It doesn't matter whether I am hurt or confused over his intention. The only thing that is bothering me is the uncertain feeling stirring inside me. It's no doubt in my mind that it is very dangerous. I could feel my body stiffening under his arms, and I had to bite my lips to control my angry mumbling. Even though I don't want to admit it, I am falling for him. For devilish charming Gabriel.

Gabriel stirred from his deep slumber, his brow furrowing when he saw the tormented expression on my face.

"Don't," he said sharply, "don't start with this... whatever is going on in your mind. I am firm in my decision, and I am in no mood to argue."

His outburst genuinely took me by surprise. It was unexpected. Even though he is not meeting my eyes, it is very clear that he is wrestling with the same emotions as mine. It's funny how a few hours ago he could easily command a room, and now he's scared to show his vulnerability. All I am to understand is that this gorgeous yet very annoying man is unable to grasp this emotion, and astonishingly, it is beyond his control.

My mind is screaming at me to get out of this tangled mess and protect myself from more ache this man might bestow on me. I slowly slipped from under his arms, and with my head bowing in shame, my next words came out in a whisper.

"Gabriel, I need time."

Without glancing back, I walked away from him. Even though my heart is breaking, my mind refuses to surrender to him. Yes, I am fully aware I am bound to him by the ironclad contract, but it does say that I have to make it easy for him. He played with my heart. Now he will pay no mind even if my heart aches for him in my every beat.

Two days past, which felt like years. I haven't heard from Gabriel. The anger and betrayal are dominating my heart, although mentally I am steeling myself for good news. Checking my phone every five minutes for any message or calls-sadly, nothing. I am unable to decide whether it is good or evil.

Deciding not to ponder any more, I went out to purchase some food from a Chinese restaurant and some good red wine. I am in the mood to treat myself. Just sprawl myself on the couch and watch some horror movies. I took a quick shower and wore a simple red summer dress and low heels. With one last glance over in the mirror, I am ready for some cool breeze against my skin. Maybe the fresh air will help me to overcome the longing for his touch.

Yet fate has different plans for me. Gabriel stood outside my building, leaning against another fancy sports car with something fierce and wild desperation shining in green eyes.

"Fina, let's go." Gabriel commanded in his strong husky voice. Shivers were running in every fiber of my being, but I knew that it was not about him anymore. It is about me and the freedom I crave from him. With a deep breath, I focus on logic and bury my volatile emotions deep into my breaking heart.

Extending his hands, Gabriel led me to his flashy car as I tugged on my seat belt and the engine roared to life. I have to admit, the sound of his car vibrating is very seductive and feels like some kind of rush pushing into my veins. Gabriel smirks at my exuberant expression, and we take off with city lights blurring into an amazing streak of colors and the cool air washing over my face, causing instant relaxation to my busy mind.

For the first time in my life, I felt free, ironically, with Gabriel. The starry night, the open road, and the best part I have tonight is loving this moment with Gabriel next to me. We didn't talk yet; we communicate telepathically with silly grins glowing on our faces.

Seeing Gabriel, so free and happy, made me realize that there is a gentle, sweet side in him. My mind started spiraling with a hundred questions, and my chest got constrained, making it harder to breathe. Suddenly a warmth was seeping into the skin of my hand, and I found Gabriel holding my hand firmly. Again, some unspoken words were shared, and his amazing green eyes convey assurance rather than anger.

Maybe this night is when we have found each other.