Sanctum: Evigilationis

Living in Death

It was just simply not possible. Three weeks? How could that be? I felt like it had been a day or two at most. Now Nothing seemed to make sense. I looked around. Jon was standing in the corner. Cecelia looked on at me. I tried pieceing everything together. I tried remembering what happened last... I mean three weeks ago. How Patience had died. What killed her. Then my encounter with Comatus. Any of these creatures were just as capable of dispatching me without much ado. Why didn't they? I realized it then. I was thier end if I was to get out.

"I know what I need to do." I said. I looked at Cecelia and Jon. They both gave me questioning looks. That changed when I tried to get up. 

"No, you don't." Said Jon. "You're not ready yet." But I wasn't waiting. My enemiy wouldn't be waiting. Patience's killier would not be waiting. I shook my head an focused. I swung my legs that felt so weak as it was. I set them of the floor. A strange chill arced up my heel through my thigh and dissipated when it reached my hip. I placed some wieght on it. Spirit came into the room. I felt a charge. And I stood. I stood for the first time in weeks. I was weak. I would not be doing myself any favors by staying on my feet for long. I knew this. But I had to prove myself. I had to start training. I had to ready myself. ready myself for the battel that would be sure to come. What side started it all depended on how long the wolves were willing to wait. They had waited 3 weeks while I was in a sleeping. They surely would not wait that much longer. 

I turned to the two of them, my face set like stone. They just stared open mouthed. Then Cecelia broke the silence.  "You were not supposed to be able to stand yet. You should still be weak. How are you doing this? And more importantly, why did you even go out that far that late? What were..." I waived my hand and told her to wait.

I forced myself to walk into the kitchen, trying as hard as I could to disguise my weakness somehow. I gound my teeth as my leg seemed to sap all the energy from it. There was a pain everywhere in my body that I could not explain. My joints cried out in agony. I ground my teeth as I sat down into the chair. That was the one time i allowed myself to grimace. Immediatly, Cecelia was worrying and saying that I needed to get back to bed. I shrugged her off as I refocused upon the events of the past few weeks. Jon and Cecelia sat across the table opposite of me. I looked at them. I made my gaze peirce both of them until they looked away. I made eye contact first with Cecelia, who held it, then have a sad smile and looked away. I then looked into Jon's cold eyes. He was harder to read. But he still looked away. Then I asked the quesion  that had been bothering me ever since I regained conciousness. "What happened?"

"You passed out after yuou buried that dog", said Cecelia.

"Patience" I murmered. They nodded and looked at me with pity. "Why did I go out at all? Why did I do it?"

"I was about to ask you the exact same thing" Said Jon.  "You obviously had been gone a while judging by the extent of your frostbite. Yet you still had the strength to carry the deer."

I remembered the events slowly, but surely. They had happened yesterday as far as I was concerned. "You don't know the half of it." I said. They both looked at me with quizical looks on their faces. I looked down at Love. He had settled at my feet while I was talking. I didn't even notice him. He looked up at me with those brown eyes. They made me melt a little. "You don't know?" I asked. They shook their heads.  I had figured that they knew more than I did about stuff, but apparently they didn't. This was not going to be easy. And so I started.

They both moved their chairs towards me as I began my tail, telling about the hunt. About the feelings I had during that. About my kill. As I went on, I felt a cold presence decend upon my hand. I looked down and stopped for a moment. It was Cecelia's hand. I picked the story back up without much of a pause. As I told about my encounter with Comatus, Jon got up and paced around. He was clearly thinking. Wisdom cocked her head at him. Cecelia's hand tightened upon my own as I told of the sheer force that had nocked me back. The force that had humbled me. Jon asked questions right where they needed to be asked. He seemed to understand how hard this was for me to recall correctly. 

Moving on with the story was the hardest part. I told them of my feelings when it got dark. Of the blizzard that had slowed me down so much that the wolves were able to catch up to us. Jon and Cecelia were fixed upon me as I told of the Dire Wolf. I refused to speak it's name. That thing which had so cruely taken part of me and tossed it aside like it was a rag doll. Hatred filled me. I wanted to see that thing dead. So much that I felt like seeking it out. Then I realized that it was Hatred, the wolf, getting insde of my head. They were not just the physical presence outside. They were also within my mind here. I still felt those emotions. I still had those flaws. And they all knew it and would exploit it as much as possible. I grit my teeth and continued with the story. 

The hardest part was telling of how Patience had laid down her life for Wisdom and myself. I had to point out which one of the remaining four dogs was Wisdom to them. Even though it had been 3 weeks they had not learned much in that time. I told them of when Patience fell. Of my rage and the ensuing battle and my skirmish with the Dire Wolf. Cecelia's mouth was agape when I looked at her again. I could barely make eye contatact as I told them how I watched Patience die. How I felt as  her broken body simply stopped moving in my arms. A new round of tears rushed to my eyes, but would not fall. They would not alleviate the pressure that was building behind my eyes. I shuddered. Then I looked up. Cecelia looked at me. There was a tear in her left eye. Jon just stood in silent reverance to the memory of Patience. None of us spoke. 

Then I broke the silence. "What happened while I was out?" I asked.

"Not much" said Jon. "Of course we haven't been here the whole three weeks. You just happened to wake up while we were here. Things have been really quiet here. Too quiet......" He paused uneasily as he realized what he had just said. " On the outside world, You are still in the coma, well... duh. But the police are still trying to figure things out with the attack. There have been several other attacks on churches and religions in general. It is utter mayhem. We need you back again." I took a shuddering breath. I took in fully what he was saying. Something was happening in that world. Something that began at my church. Something that somehow began with me. Now, people were dying everyday in a place I remember that I thought of as safe. 

Then I thought about what Jon had said. Too quiet? That was not a good sign. The wolves must have been planning something. I mean, they could not still be licking thier wounds after three weeks, could they? I smiled as I imagined the damned curs lying behind some stone cave wall, licking thier wounds and wimpering. Remembering the rage of the one who killed so many of them.   Maybe they remembered.

An uneasy feeling filled my stomach. What if they weren't? They could be waiting to kill me and my friends. I could not let that happen. I grit my teeth and galred at the cup of water in front of me. I WOULD not let that happen. As I stared at my cup, I realized that it was silent. i looked up and they were looking at me. Cecealia looked a little concerned and a little confused. Jon looked like he was trying as hard as he could to read my thoughts. 

"How much food do we have left?" I asked. 

"About half of the deer you killed. Thanks to Jon here, it has stayed good this long. He took care of everything he needed to with it." She turned and smiled a thank you at him. I felt blood rush to my face, but I dismissed it. 

"Good." I sighed and relaxed a little in my chair. I didn't have to go backc out yet. It was beautiful, but I think that windows were as close as I was going to get to the outdoors for a while. 

"Why did you come back?" I asked. They seemed to appear when I needed them, which I thought was a little strange.

"I don't know." said Cecelia, "It just felt like you were in trouble." She pasued as she relized how that sounded to me. 

"How did you even get here?" I asked.

"I don't know. Neither of us do." Said Jon. "We Just kind of....."

"Got placed here" said Cecelia. I nodded. I understood how they felt. How had I even gotten here? Was therelike some flash of light or something. I racked my brains back to the moment that I had gotten there. I had just woken up in the middle of the snow. It seemed strange, but I wondered if they had that happen to them as well. Certainly not in the clothing that I was in when I got there. 

I sighed and leaned back in my chair. I thought once more of Patience. I turned so I could look out the window. But something was there. Something was wrong. There was no light that entered the cabin through the window. I looked harder and something moved. I jumped and made a leap for my sword as the blast ripped through the cabin.