loving you feels so right

14.

Niall thinks that the trip back home to London seems shorter than travelling to LA itself. There's a lot more entertainment for him and the boredom he experienced the first time travelling over, has been filled with every thought of Harry.

Like yesterday, they've spent most of the flight cuddled up watching films. Again, there's more selection of films on this flight- or more which Niall can actually enjoy.

He prefers doing this, just sitting in silence and being in Harry's embrace. It makes him feel comforted and safe; feels a lot more better being with Harry than with any other bloke he's been with in the past.

a whole lot better than being with Darren.

He shakes himself of those thoughts again, really needs to get out of the habit of referring back to Darren when his life is finally turning out good. But he simply can't help himself from feeling this way, he was completely fucked over.

And he can only punish himself for it. He was the one who invaded his privacy when Darren specifically told him to mind his own business.

He was the one who went behind Darren's back to find out who he was seeing.

It was his fault that he confronted Darren when he found out he cheated on him. And also his fault that he ended up with multiple bruises scattered on his face and torso.

His fault that he wasn't allowed to leave their shared flat unless Darren was with him.

His fault that he dropped out of uni, because Darren couldn't trust him enough.

His fault that their relationship ended so terribly.

Definitely his fault for falling too hard too quickly.

Niall doesn't even realise he's crying until Harry's kneeled in front of him. Thumbs rubbing soothing circles on his knees, concern etched on his face.

"Ni, baby. What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Niall just sobs more, shoulders shaking as they rack through his body.

"Babe, c'mon. What's up?" Harry tries again, his concern slowly turning into worry.

Niall garbled some nonsense in reply, a snort emitting from Harry. He asks him to repeat himself, obviously not being able to understand.

He takes a deep breath before trying again.

It's now or never.

He can't keep this secret from Harry any longer. Especially not if he wants this relationship to work correctly, with no secrets or lies.

"I'm a stripper"

No going back now, it's all out in the open. Harry knows what he does for a living.

But Harry's not saying anything right now, he's still crouched down in front of Niall, searching his face. He doesn't look pissed- doesn't look like he's going to lash out on Niall.

It takes a few moments before Harry speaks up again, and it makes Niall nervous to hear his reaction.

"Okay" he takes a breath "not really what I was expecting to come out of your mouth, but it's fine"

Niall's still a wreck, tears rolling continuously down his face. Sobs racking through his body, he just feels so ashamed of his life. Knowing he performs for middle aged men in a strip club- while his boyfriend is one of the most famous people around right now.

What would happen if the media found out?

'Harry Styles boyfriend, male stripper past'

He can see the headlines now, they'd have a field day. This is going to ruin everything. He's an utter disgrace.

"Hey, none of that now. Babe, stop" Harry frantically tried to calm him down. He stands up from the floor and pulls Niall into his arms, comforting and calming him.

Niall's shaking in Harry's hold, and Harry's never felt more useless in his life. It's heart breaking to see Niall like this, completely broken.

He whispers comforting words in Niall's ear as he continues to cry.

It takes a while for Niall to actually calm down until he's sniffling. He's clutched onto Harry tighter than he's ever been before, needs that comfort and stability right now; needs to feel safe and trusted before he finally tells Harry everything.

"Now that you've calmed down, fancy explaining what that was about?" Harry asks Niall softly, still rubbing a hand up and down his arm.

Niall takes a deep breath before telling Harry everything, starting from his relationship with Darren. Explaining why he ended up becoming a stripper because he was in a controlling relationship, forced to leave university, had no where to live when they ended the relationship, no money to live on.

He had absolutely nothing.

Harry was completely silent through it all, but Niall could feel the way he tensed when he found out about the abuse.

Once he was finished, Harry hauled him further in his arms and peppered kisses all over his head.

"If I ever find that-"

"You won't" Niall cuts Harry off, before he can say anything else.

"He's long gone" Harry's looking down at him with confusion etched on his face. His eyebrows cutely scrunched towards the middle of his nose. Niall almost laughs, but he's nearly finished. Nearly rid of his past.

"Died of an overdose two months after we ended it. He was taking a lot of different drugs before the abuse started." Niall sighs and tucks himself further into Harry's arms.

"God Ni, I don't even know what to say. I'm so sorry you had to go through that." Niall only nods in reply, not being able to trust his voice.

"You don't have to say anything, but could you just, like, hold me please?"

Harry quietly murmurs a 'sure, no problem love' and does exactly that.